15

Coaching

Church/School

No

Ongoing conflict coaching among the Hutterite people, whom we serve as Bible translators in Canada and the US. See case description from previous year (01/09/2024) *Even though I never explicitly request any feedback, the people I am helping do express to me how thankful they are and how helpful it has been.

12

Mediation

Marriage/Family

No

I just started this family mediation case. The main issues are among a mother, her oldest daughter, and her husband, the son in-law, although the whole family of 5 is affected by the conflict. So far, I have only done pre-mediation coaching. There are a lot of issues, including trauma and alcohol addiction within the family, which are affecting all relationships. Mother and son in-law had a falling out with the result of him forbidding her to be with the grandkids, which is very hard for her. At the moment, she is only willing to talk with her daughter, but not with the son in-law. I might have to meet with only the mother and daughter first to resolve their issues, of which many stem from the past and their very dysfunctional home. However, I will definitely work towards getting all the affected parties together (mother, daughter, and son in-law) for a mediation. The issues that the mother has with the the son in-law is mainly that he puts himself in a position of authority that he doesn't have, over her and the whole family. The father, who is the alcoholic and the cause of a lot of the past trauma, is not so much in the picture any more. I am open to include the other sister and the father in further discussions, should the need arise.

15

Coaching

Marriage/Family

No

I have been coaching an elderly couple to help them navigate a conflict that has arisen within their daughter's family. The couple are Christians, but their daughter plus husband and two teenage children are not. They all live on the same property, so have a lot of interaction with each other. The main conflict is between the older son (18) and his mom, although the relationship to his dad is also not a good one. A few years ago, the dad was unfaithful and the parents separated. Then, after 4 years, the mom let dad move back in with them. Since then, the son has become more and more hostile towards his parents, but especially towards his mom. As grandparents, the elderly couple have always been very involved in the children's lives and have been taking care of the grandkids, especially during the parents separation. A while ago, their grandson moved in with them and they seem to have his trust. I have been working with them towards helping their daughter and son in-law to see how they as parents have hurt their children in this whole process. My goal is to eventually bring the whole family together to have an open and honest conversation so that all the issues can be understood and dealt with. I believe trust has been severely broken (especially for the children) and that needs to be acknowledged. This will hopefully help the relationship to be restored, or at least get this process started.

25

Coaching

Marriage/Family

No

Since the first two cases cover the required 20 hours, this submission is just for 5 or 6 conversations via email and/or Zoom, with students from the marriage counseling course Dawna & I taught for BRTS Latvia. Primarily helping some intelligent Russia women wisely navigate marriages to difficult husbands.

25

Mediation

Marriage/Family

No

This is an ongoing marriage mediation, initiated by the wife. Her issues are mainly neglect, non-communication, and a suspected adulterous relationship by the husband. He denies all these allegations, saying that his wife is mentally unstable. It turned out that the woman has been on psychotics for many years and also tried to commit suicide a number of times. She is in psychiatric care right now, so we had to stop our meetings. It is unsure at this point, whether we will be able to continue with the mediation because of the woman's mental health situation. Our last meeting was on October 7, 2024.

20

Coaching

Church/School

No

I have been coaching a young woman who is in a conflict with her pastor. The conflict was brought on through some misunderstandings with the result of the pastor avoiding and even openly opposing the woman, who always had a ministry in the church. (I know this pastor personally and I suspect that he felt threatened by her.) Since then, no attempt to explain herself or show of love and respect for him and his position as pastor seemed to help. Only recently, he completely changed his attitude toward her and even gave his ok for her to lead her ministry again (which he resisted in the past). He still hasn't talked with her to address the issues, but at least now there is an open door again for further communication. PTL! :)

15

Coaching

Marriage/Family

No

I have been doing ongoing conflict coaching for many years now among my three siblings, who are all in conflict with each other. I have done a mediation for them a few years ago with a partially satisfying outcome. In the last year, great progress has been made among my two brothers, who don't know the Lord. Right now, my focus is to help them to resolve their issues from their childhood. An added difficulty is that they live in another country and I don't see them very often. I do have phone conversations with them.

1.50

Coaching

Other

No

The conflict coaching involves an individual in conflict with multiple parties involving multiple transactions and relationships. The individual appears to be genuine in his desire to resolve the conflicts based upon Scripture. The individual is challenged by a desire to "hold people accountable". The individual is challenged by the desire for "justice".

.70

Coaching

Building/Property/Construction

No

The dispute involves flooring installation in a residence. The conflict involves the quality of the work, payment for the work and replacement of defective work. The home owner made attempts to resolve the conflict but the contractor has not been responsive.

.50

Coaching

Other

No

Dispute involved conflict between siblings and conflict between children and mother. The conflict involved ownership in and operation and control of a family businesses and future inheritance issues.

.80

Coaching

Other

No

The dispute involves conflict between a franchisor and an franchisee involved in ministry to business executives. The conflict involves the contractual relationship, compensation and potential termination of the relationship.

1.50

Coaching

Marriage/Family

No

Dispute involving Pastor and Church members and Church elders. Dispute involved conflict between teenagers and parents of teenagers. The dispute involved gossip, judgment and condemnation. The conflict caused division among all involved.

1.50

Coaching

Employment

No

The dispute involved a ministry and a former employees. The parties were represented by lawyers. The employee was terminated for taking sensitive property from the employer. The conflict involved a breach of duty and alleged justification for the wrongful conduct.

1.0

Coaching

Building/Property/Construction

No

Construction dispute between home owner, general contractor and sub-contractor. Home owner made attempts to resolve. Contractor and sub-contractor refused to respond, address issues, accept any responsibility.

43.50

Arbitration

Employment

No

Dispute between Christian School and former employee involving allegations of discrimination, wrongful termination, etc. Involves significant emotional and anger issues.

3.50

Coaching

Other

No

The conflict involves the post-divorce relationship between the parents of a small child as related to the child being in the presence of a third party in a relationship with one of the parents. There are other issues involving lack of forgiveness, anger, bitterness, alleged manipulation and alleged control. There are other issues involving communication, judgment, condemnation and how the ex-spouses will parent going forward.

25

Coaching

Marriage/Family

No

Woman, (E) has handicapped teen-aged child. She is navigating conflict with her para and care-giver at school. Conflict with school authorities. These have been largely resolved, although the next chapter of her child's life after she turns 18 and is no longer in the school system is her next challenge. What will E do? We are investigating solutions, including those people with whom she has reconciled at the school. Ongoing case, as E is very perfectionistic and demanding. She is learning, however to trust in God's sovereign care and control.

52

Coaching

Marriage/Family

No

Ongoing dispute among the members of two Christian families involving the relationship between a son of one family and a daughter of the other family. Parties had agreed to prepare for a mediation however not all parties have yet invested the time in the process to move toward the mediation. Coaching continues.

44

Mediation

Marriage/Family

No

Ongoing dispute among the members of two Christian families involving the relationship between a son of one family and a daughter of the other family. Parties had agreed to prepare for a mediation however not all parties have yet invested the time in the process to move toward the mediation. Coaching continues.

16 hours

Mediation

Marriage/Family

Yes

Adult daughter wanted to confront parents about some items. We established some coaching and had two short mediations between her and her parents. They were able to understand each other, establish some guidelines for going forward. The daughter still needs to work on some heart issues. The parents recognized some important heart issues.

23

Coaching

Marriage/Family

No

MW woman married to pastor. Husband no longer pastors church but she is left with his anger, bitterness and resentment. This case is ongoing. She is also faced with conflict between her husband and her adult children. She is learning to be a peacemaker herself.

25+

Coaching

Marriage/Family

No

Two brothers and their families have been estranged for 3-4 years, due to one family's assessment that the other brother is controlling and critical. Harsh confrontations in the past caused further problems. I have been doing conflict coaching with both families since the spring, and am nearing the point of getting them together for mediation.

15

Coaching

Marriage/Family

No

A husband has been negligent and distant (formerly unfaithful), and was asked to leave the home. I have been counseling/coaching him toward repentance and reconciliation, while one of our biblical counselors has been working with his wife. He has been VERY untrustworthy in the past, making it complicated.

12

Coaching

Other

No

Ongoing conflict coaching with the board of a Christian non-profit. Most work coaching to date was in the summer and fall of 2023. The board brought in a new executive director and that leader is now assessing the need for ongoing coaching with staff and board.

16

Coaching

Other

No

Ongoing conflict coaching with the board of a Christian non-profit. Most work coaching to date was in the summer and fall of 2023. The board brought in a new executive director and that leader is now assessing the need for ongoing coaching with staff and board.

40+

Mediation

Church/School

No

Several church staff members approached their lead pastor and elder board with complaints against a former staff executive pastor who had resigned after the failure of his marriage. Their complaints included allegations of harshness in his supervision of them, dishonesty, and verbal and emotional abuse. I interviewed every staff member, provided conflict coaching to several of them, met with the departed executive pastor multiple times to provide him with conflict coaching, and ultimately brought him together with two staff members in two separate conciliation meetings.

7

Coaching

Marriage/Family

Yes

A recently married couple in conflict with the wife's father, on whose property they lived. Complex conflict with him as landlord, partial employer, and father (& in-law)--on a rural farm where everyone is expected to do everything all the time! And (the kitchen sink) the father has a TBI, leading to little filtering of speech or emotions. Couple learning to sort "cares" (of of our control) from "responsibilities" (God's calling, step by step). Likely will see them again.

5.5

Coaching

Marriage/Family

No

Party: SB Description: The client is seeking coaching on reconciling with his estranged wife. The client conceded he had multiple extramarital relationships, but had come back to the Lord in repentance of his sin against his wife. The coaches worked with this client to understand the hurt his wife had experienced which he came to acknowledge, and he came to understand his need to offer her sacrificial love -- to accept her need to seek a divorce, but yet to offer her support for Christian counseling to help her overcome the grief and loss she is experiencing.

20 hours

Mediation

Church/School

Yes

Conflict in leadership team that required two short mediations. Hours of coaching with the pastor and two meetings of a couple hours each with two core leaders. Understandings were met. The pastor had already requested forgiveness, Restoration was complicated since individuals compared notes and were holding second hand offenses.

7.5

Coaching

Marriage/Family

No

Parties; NN & PN Description: The husband is seeking to restore his marriage; the wife is seeking to "clarify" their relationship, re-establish trust, respect and communication with her husband. The wife was very tentative about re-establishing personal contact with her husband, as she felt he had dominated their relationship and she didn't feel any love or respect from him. The husband feels "abandoned" by his wife who left him and went "home" to care for her very sick father. After early coaching, the wife has agreed to establish more communication with the husband. The husband has agreed to consider her desire for "arms-length" discussions and begin to communicate his deep love for her in a way acceptable to her rather than simply requesting/demanding that she consider reconciliation. They continue to communicate offline at this point.

4

Mediation

Marriage/Family

No

Parties: AS & AS Description: The parties came to mediation to prepare a separation agreement and property settlement. In early discussions, the husband submits that the wife is difficult to live with and he is not willing to consider reconciliation. The wife does not feel that the husband respects or even loves her, and is critical of all her actions and decisions. The coaches have spent time with both parties reminding them of Christ's love for each of them and his forgiveness freely offered, as a basis for establishing more secure and open communication between the parties. The case is ongoing.

30+

Mediation

Church/School

No

I worked with a conflicted leadership team at a church in Hillsboro, Kansas. I interviewed all of the pastoral staff members and all of the elders. I then provided conflict coaching to one of the pastors and three of the elders over the course of several months. Then, in October, I facilitated three days of conciliation meetings resulting in the reconciliation of the pastor with the three elders. I provided additional training on biblical conflict resolution to the entire church leadership team.

4

Mediation

Church/School

Yes

Church intervention between the pastor and one church member. Mediation held and each party provided a Summary of Important Conversations.

8

Coaching

Church/School

No

Coaching the pastor and church member in preparation for the mediation.

15

Mediation

Marriage/Family

No

Feedback was given, without request, positive resolution to long-standing marital conflict with separation looming. Repentance by husband for explosive anger, torpedoing his marriage. This after one session, such is the power of the Spirit! from Scripture and study of Spiritual MRI Questions study. Then worked on practical decision-making methods for their family business, which was the typical occasion for conflict.

13

Mediation

Marriage/Family

No

Parties: JK & SK Description: The parties came to mediation to develop a separation agreement. The wife claimed verbal and emotional abuse throughout the marriage; the husband did not affirm the abuse, and felt the wife had maligned his personal and professional reputation with her allegations. Nevertheless, initially, the husband wanted to seek reconciliation but finally came to understand the wife would not reconcile their marriage. The parties came to agreement on a separation agreement, including distribution of assets; and came to establish better communication regarding family issues.

65

Mediation

Church/School

Yes

Conflict between long time church members and second pastor of church. Confusion of authority, responsibility, and care leading to lots of conflict, disregard of others, etc. The church also had conflict and conflicting views with its denomination and governing region. The planting and long term pastor had retired, but was still part of the conflict as well. Finances, building use, loans, Christian education, ways of worship, doctrine all was part of the challenges.

8

Coaching

Marriage/Family

No

I coached a pastor's wife whose husband was being disciplined at his church. They were navigating a separation and I coached to manage the conflicts that were arising with her children through this tumultuous time.

5

Coaching

Marriage/Family

No

This was a follow-up coaching meeting from the mediation I did with an extended family in December and January (01/04/2024). The mother wanted some advice about an upcoming family holiday. I suggested a family meeting with specific questions for everyone. The result was that the issues that the daughter and son-in-law had with them, are now completely resolved and trust has been restored. *Even though I didn't ask for feedback, the parents gave me very positive feedback, saying that they would recommend me to others anytime.

2.5

Coaching

Marriage/Family

No

Custody Case for Chester County Court, PA

21.40

Mediation

Other

Yes

The conflict involved two ministries. The contractual relationship between the ministries was terminated. The conflict involved intellectual property issues. The conflict involved the rights of the parties to continue ministry efforts in a specific geographical area and a specific ministry area.

2.5

Mediation

Marriage/Family

No

Custody Case for Chester County Court, PA

2.5

Mediation

Marriage/Family

No

Custody Case for Chester County Court, PA

2.5

Mediation

Marriage/Family

No

Custody Case for Montgomery County Court, PA

43

Mediation

Marriage/Family

No

Marriage conflict - requested to help by pastor. Husband elder in church but just not responding to calls to love his wife and children. Significant breeches of trust, wife was losing capacity to endure. She separated. He just could not seem to take responsibility or guidance. recommended an intensive counseling experience for him to possibly help understand his barrier or heart sin keeping him from living the Gospel he professed. Church leadership supportive of recommendation.

2.5

Mediation

Marriage/Family

No

Custody Case for Chester County Court

48

Mediation

Marriage/Family

No

This married couple had been operating independently for many years and their relationship was fraught with fighting and conflict. They came to us seeking as a last ditch effort to save their marriage. We met for four days and the couple were able to find reconciliation on many of their greatest hurts and understanding was increased. They left the mediation process with a plan for how to address the remaining issues.

40

Coaching

Other

Yes

Coaching and consulting for Mission Organization - missionary on the field accused of power abuse of other missionaries and nationals of country. Coached president and board through process.

3

Mediation

Marriage/Family

No

Custody Case for Chester County Court, PA

17

Coaching

Marriage/Family

No

V and F married with adult children. Anger issues in work(family business) and at home. The husband has been reconciled with his wife and has for the first time owned his own sin against her. He is rejoicing and growing in faith and relationships with others in the family circle. Good resolution - but ongoing check-ups will be necessary.

5

Mediation

Marriage/Family

No

Met with family of two parents and seven adult children to discuss and work through fall out from father's recent adulterous relationship.

160

Arbitration

Church/School

No

Actually an investigation. There was an allegation of their pastor of emotional abuse, power abuse. However, the parties wanted to reconcile and there was hope that it was an isolated situation, a misunderstanding or correctable with reconciliation and coaching or training. Turned out to be systemic and historical. After initial; interviews the staff asked to talk with us again using their personal emails and zooming from home. The investigation widened and it was determined that there was no path back for the pastor that could be kind or safe for the staff, leaders or members of the church.

55

Mediation

Church/School

No

I served as a co-conciliator with Dwight. He did most of the heavy lifting, but I was involved with coaching and assisted in the mediations. We did witness repentance and forgiveness. Public statements were made. Pastor resigned, so restoration was impacted.

2.5

Mediation

Marriage/Family

No

Custody Case for Chester County Court

2.5

Mediation

Marriage/Family

No

Custody Case for Montgomery County Court, PA

5

Coaching

Church/School

No

Provided coaching for church leaders and individuals in conflict with the hope that they can resolve the issues and reconcile.

123

Mediation

Marriage/Family

Yes

dispute

2.5

Mediation

Marriage/Family

No

Custody Case for Chester County Court

2

Arbitration

Other

No

Selected by random draw to be Grievance Officer for complaint against reconciler. Exchanged emails with parties but did not have opportunity to interview those involved because Complaintant withdrew grievance. Wrote Grievance Proceding Determination to document .

40

Coaching

Marriage/Family

No

Helping a couple of 15 years of marriage deal with patterns of bitterness and accusation.

2.5

Mediation

Marriage/Family

No

Custody Case for Chester County,PA

10

Coaching

Church/School

No

A conflict between two women at a church. Leslie served in women's ministry at her church and stepped in over many years to reach out to and to help another woman in need at her church. One day that other woman publicly declared that she had been hurt by her church since no one had reached out to her. Leslie was hurt and angry about how this other woman had accused Leslie publicly of not supporting her. I coached Leslie through the anger, hurt, and unforgiveness that she was holding against this other woman. After several coaching sessions, Leslie was able to see her idols and was able to forgive the other woman.

2.5

Mediation

Marriage/Family

No

Custody Case for Chester County Court

2.5

Mediation

Marriage/Family

No

Custody Case for Montgomery County Court, PA

18

Coaching

Other

No

The widow of a deceased pastor whose friends (and eventually, the widow ) had contacted me for assistance. The case potentially involves the church he was pastoring as well as family and business relationships. I have not yet completed the case and at this stage it involves Conflict Coaching in preparation for and possibly leading to mediation. As the case continues to move forward to possible completion, feedback will be requested.

3

Coaching

Marriage/Family

No

This case involves a dear friend (John) and fellow church member experiencing conflict within his blended family, specifically sibling children of his wife. The conflict carries over into anger directed by one of the children toward his mom and is impacting all relationships. The case is continuing on into 2024 and feedback will be requested at that time.

100

Mediation

Church/School

No

Dispute between the leadership (pastor, lay elders & deacons) of an independent church and the leadership of an attached daycare (board chair, executive director, and assistant director). Process included a successful mediation between the pastor and childcare executive director, and a second mediation among various leaders of both. The second mediation concluded with all in agreement that the childcare center should begin process of establishing a separate legal identity.

102

Mediation

Church/School

No

Dispute between the leadership (pastor, lay elders & deacons) of an independent church and the leadership of an attached daycare (board chair, executive director, and assistant director). Process included a successful mediation between the pastor and childcare executive director, and a second mediation among various leaders of both. The second mediation concluded with all in agreement that the childcare center should begin process of establishing a separate legal identity.

22

Mediation

Marriage/Family

No

Couple desiring separation agreement. Indicated they wanted to separate in order to gain space and heal so that they could potentially reconcile. She claimed emotional abuse and wanted it defined and stated. Also involved though was her physical abuse and emotionally damaging behavior. I failed to find a way to effectively help them, especially her to prepare, negotiate respectfully or equitably, follow guidelines, etc. I stopped working with them. They had the basics of the agreement they needed. I advised them to take it to church leadership or lawyer or another conciliator and agree and set up accountability.

2.5

Mediation

Marriage/Family

No

Custody Case done for Montgomery County Court, PA

28

Mediation

Church/School

Yes

Anglican Church leadership in conflict - loss of confidence in leadership regarding response to sexual abuse of a child by a ministry leader.

2.25

Mediation

Marriage/Family

No

Custody case for Montgomery County Court, Pa

3 hours

Coaching

Marriage/Family

No

JL - Coaching through relationship struggles with children and girlfriend

2.5

Mediation

Marriage/Family

No

Custody Case for Chester County Court, PA

2.5

Mediation

Marriage/Family

No

Custody Case for Chester County Court, PA

2.5

Mediation

Marriage/Family

No

Mediation between a mother and her teenage daughter regarding increased disrespect towards the mother. I helped them agree to guidelines, boundaries, and consequences if the disrespect continues after the daughter is warned by her mother.

2.5

Mediation

Marriage/Family

No

Custody Case for Chester County Courts

Approximately 11

Mediation

Marriage/Family

No

Young adult estranged from her parents asked me to mediate discussion of the issues that have divided them. Did pre-mediation work with both sides, then met with the three of them together. Mother and daughter were significantly reconciled, but father still estranged.

38

Mediation

Church/School

Yes

Mediated congregational conflict related to pastoral change.

2.5

Mediation

Marriage/Family

No

Custody Case for Montgomery County Court, PA

2

Coaching

Marriage/Family

No

David, a Navigators minister, has been struggling in his relationship with his only son, a 17 year old teenage boy. I offered to coach him in this using Courageous Parenting resource and we met together for the first time on 1/16 after he completed the first chapter of homework. We will continue to meet, possibly with his wife next time, every other week. I recommended an additional resource from Parent Cue for him to order.

2.5

Mediation

Marriage/Family

No

Custody Case for Montgomery County Court, PA

10

Mediation

Marriage/Family

No

A couple for whom we did a mediation several years ago, returned to ask for some help to work through some very thorny issues in their marriage in a healthy way. I coached them over 5 sessions to help them work through those issues.

5 hours

Mediation

Marriage/Family

No

DE & ME - coaching and mediation with their new marriage and the struggles that have been going on as they continue to grow in their relationships

5.0

Coaching

Marriage/Family

No

Coaching wife after abandonment by husband. Assisted with confession/forgiveness even though husband refused to communicate except through lawyers. The case has just been completed, and an evaluation will be sent.

5.0 in 2023

Coaching

Marriage/Family

No

Coaching son regarding unresolved conflict and damaged relationship with abusive father.

17.3 in 2023

Mediation

Marriage/Family

No

Severe marital dysfunction for many years. Mediation is ongoing to identify and resolve multiple issues.

12.5

Coaching

Marriage/Family

No

Marriage coaching which is ongoing.

12

Coaching

Marriage/Family

Yes

A couple who with very difficult life circumstances. We meet with them monthly to enouragae and guide.

9

Coaching

Other

Yes

Young single woman with internal conflicts. One-day intensive provided with some ongoing coaching in the future.

19

Coaching

Other

No

Young single woman needing guidance through past emotional abuse and current family issues.

25

Coaching

Marriage/Family

No

This is a case of domestic abuse. I have been working steadily with this party and continue to do so.

6

Coaching

Marriage/Family

No

Older couple dealing with unresolved conflict from the past.

13

Coaching

Marriage/Family

No

Premarital coaching, then after married coaching which will continue due to issues they are facing.

12

Coaching

Other

No

Young single woman struggling with work and personal issues.

5

Coaching

Other

No

Single young woman with past drug addiction and current dysfunctional relationships with men.

19

Coaching

Marriage/Family

No

Emotional abuse situation in which I am serving the wife.

10

Coaching

Other

No

Currently working with a missionary couple on home assignment that is working through difficult situations on the field.

25

Mediation

Marriage/Family

No

Pornography and other issues in the marriage. Likely ongoing. Their church is financing their work with us.

13

Coaching

Marriage/Family

No

Couple struggling with his porn habit and physiological issues of the husband.

8

Coaching

Marriage/Family

No

MC Wife is divorcing her husband, who admits that he has been neglectful of his wife and his children, but who now wants to confess and be reconciled with his wife and children. We are working up a confession

80+ hours

Coaching

Church/School

No

This is not a single coaching case, but I will include here many ongoing informal coaching cases that I have among Hutterite people, where my husband and I have been working as missionaries for the last 15 years. I am in regular contact with Hutterite women, who often share their struggles with me. Their life is especially challenging because when they marry, they move to their husband’s community, where they have to adjust to a different way of life and a new set of rules. There is a strict hierarchy among the group, and tensions among the women arise frequently, since they have to work very closely together in the community kitchen and garden. Most of their relationship issues circle around being judged by others and being oppressed by individuals or by the group. There is no teaching on how to communicate openly and honestly with each other, so there is a lot of distrust and envy and gossip among them. This often leads to anger and the forming of cliques, which divides the group even further. I have been teaching conflict resolution in many colonies now, and slowly, people are catching on to the peacemaking principles (even the men!). Hutterites do not hear the gospel preached in church, but we see more and more people being transformed by God’s Word, and I feel that the Lord has given me the ministry of Biblical peacemaking to help the Hutterite people better understand and live out the Gospel.

6

Coaching

Other

Yes

Small women's study group were in conflict. I coached various members while I was conducting a peacemaker training for them. We had a resolution by the end of the training.

35

Coaching

Marriage/Family

No

This is an ongoing case where I have been coaching two brothers with the goal of mediating their offenses that developed during their childhood. Part of the problem is that the one brother feels that he was neglected by their mother, who favored the other brother over him. He is struggling with a lot of anger and bitterness towards his brother but is realizing now that he can’t have peace or move on with his life, unless he forgives his brother and also his mother, who is deceased. The other brother has acknowledged that his arrogant attitude towards his older brother has been part of the problem and has taken the first step and apologized to him for his behavior and hurtful words. I am hoping that there will be a mediation soon to address all the remaining issues.

75

Mediation

Marriage/Family

No

4 parties, mom/dad of son, a pastor, and wife. Broken relationships even though a close family. The parties developed a plan to relate to one another including seeing the grandkids.

16

Arbitration

Marriage/Family

No

a test case

2.5

Mediation

Marriage/Family

No

Custody Case for Montgomery County Court, PA

85

Mediation

Marriage/Family

No

The conflict started between a sister and brother-in-law, who had a falling out. Later, the whole family was affected by the conflict, mainly due to miscommunications and unfulfilled expectations. The first meeting involved the parents, their daughter, and son-in-law. They had open and honest conversations and all four parties reconciled with each other. The second meeting was only partially successful because the other daughter was not willing to reconcile with her brother-in-law. Therefore, the parties were only partially satisfied with the result.

25+

Arbitration

Other

No

BE Arbitration. Award expected February 2024 as this is an ongoing case.

30.5

Mediation

Business

Yes

This mediation was assigned to me by AofR as the parties requested me as conciliator. It was an employment dispute between the owner and two employees who left the company and were alleged to have taken customers and trade secrets with them. It was complicated by federal litigation with a discovery deadline and trial date within a month of my assignment. After 6 sessions of conflict coaching and an all day mediation the parties got close but were not able to reach an agreement. The litigation will proceed and they may return for further help.

108

Arbitration

Church/School

No

Actually conducted investigation - initially thought short investigation and any potential reconciliation. However, the investigation showed indications of patterned pastoral sexual and power abuse. Therefore a more extensive investigation with consultation regarding care and developing a peacemaking church.

20

Coaching

Marriage/Family

No

C had a breakdown in relationship with her grandmother and aunt following her grandfather's death. She has engaged with the coaching materials well and established reasonable relationships given the circumstances.

24

Coaching

Marriage/Family

No

S and J are trying to save their marriage after it was revealed that he had been unfaithful on numerous occasions. We are continuing to work with them as they address the issues.

7

Coaching

Marriage/Family

No

Helping L navigate difficult relationships with grandchildren, daughter and son in law (soon to be 'x')

12

Coaching

Other

No

S was struggling with judging family members and friends She worked through the coaching materials thoroughly. Her heart has been addressed and she feels she is free from bitterness. We are meeting on a bi-monthly basis for a check in call during 2024

15

Coaching

Marriage/Family

No

New believer A and her unbelieving husband D; she got involved in the Trucker Convoy; this created huge problems in their marriage. She has been drinking and using marijuana. She withdrew from the process "partially satisfied". He stopped answering our follow up calls.

18

Coaching

Marriage/Family

No

A is dealing with an abusive husband and now a baby has been introduced to the mix. She is struggling with anger and bitterness. Temporarily separated on two occasions

15

Coaching

Marriage/Family

No

O has been advocating for her brother (involved in a serious car crash). She is also trying to maintain relship with her mother and other family members

60

Coaching

Marriage/Family

No

L and M - addressing issues in marriage (his addictions and financial irresponsibility); they are now separated.

6

Coaching

Marriage/Family

No

Working with U as she confronts the CSA from her childhood

10

Coaching

Other

No

P is Hindu. I have been sharing the gospel with her through the coaching materials as it relates to her broken abusive marriage and cultural pressures being from India. We are continuing to meet monthly.

10

Coaching

Church/School

No

Helping Pastor J and T address the pain of betrayal from the church they served for two decades

30

Coaching

Marriage/Family

No

J and JC are associate pastors in a local church. He has been abusive. They both engaged in the conflict coaching to the full extent required. He ended up taking Chris Moles' Men of Peace Program to address his abusive behaviour and attitude. There was great success through this program and their marriage has been changed. I will continue to follow up with Julie on a bi-monthly basis to ensure things are good in their marriage.

8

Coaching

Marriage/Family

No

S is navigating the aftermath of her son's failed marriage and her husband's criminal charges for stalking. She has engaged well with the coaching materials and we are continuing to meet for follow up and check in.

40

Mediation

Marriage/Family

No

Pastor T and A engaged in the conflict coaching and this led to mediation in March 2023. The mediation was a success but Thomas was fired from his pastorate several months later. This caused a downward spiral on his part. He has continued to meet with my co-counsellor but has returned to old patterns. I'm continuing to meet with Alejandra for conflict coaching through these difficult times.

10

Coaching

Other

No

Helping W address broken relationships and failed marriage

10

Coaching

Marriage/Family

No

M was referred by the County Mental Health in 2022. We have spent the year working through challenges in her relationship with her senior citizen father. Things have gone well and she finds her anger has been substantially addressed.

15

Coaching

Marriage/Family

No

C has been struggling with bitterness toward her abusive sister. She has engaged with the coaching materials and has been able to establish a safe and reasonable relationship with her sister.

15

Coaching

Marriage/Family

No

I is still working through her difficult marriage to a porn addict

50

Mediation

Marriage/Family

No

C and A submitted to a mediation in 2023. While there were agreements reached, Aristide did not truly engage in the process. I continue to meet with Cadeau on a monthly basis to coach her through this difficult situation. Aristide is inconsistent in meeting with my co-counsellor Dave.

20

Coaching

Other

No

A is a teenaged girl. She recently revealed she was sexually abused by her adoptive father and a court case will ensue. Her adoptive mother kicked her out of the home. She is navigating a great deal of anger and bitterness. She is doing well considering the circumstances.

15

Coaching

Marriage/Family

No

Helping P address his broken marriage and losses due to his abusiveness

12

Coaching

Marriage/Family

No

A and H's marriage was salvaged following infidelity and separation. A mediation in 2022 has been followed up with ongoing check in calls and marital restoration work.

12

Coaching

Marriage/Family

No

N and I meet on a monthly basis to work through her failed marriage and ongoing co-parenting of their 14 yr old daughter with her estranged husband.

15

Coaching

Marriage/Family

No

H is working through her marriage issues and difficulties parenting a severely disabled child. Also addressing problems with church ldrship

8

Coaching

Church/School

No

Helping L and M address their difficult marriage and former church position

444+129 = 573 hours minimum

Coaching

Marriage/Family

No

As a Marriage & Family Counselor, I handle conflict oriented situations every day, year round. This past year(2023) I did @ 62 cases (Marriage & Fam) and 43 Conflict Coaching situations.

10+

Coaching

Other

No

Conflict coaching of Ms CC and leader of not for profit organisation

7+

Coaching

Church/School

No

Individual conflict coaching of young female student leader in conflict with assistant pastor

30+

Mediation

Church/School

No

3 phase mediation between a couple and their pastor including individual conflict coaching

11+

Mediation

Church/School

No

2 phase mediation between two assistant pastors including individual conflict coaching

1.5

Coaching

Church/School

No

Conflict coaching of parishioner unhappy with her pastor

16

Mediation

Church/School

No

3 phase mediation between a senior and his assistant pastor including individual conflict coaching

10+

Coaching

Church/School

No

Conflict coaching of female doctor in conflict with her pastor

21+

Mediation

Church/School

No

2 phase mediation between autistic parents of autistic son in conflict with church leaders, including individual conflict coaching

1-2

Coaching

Church/School

No

Conflict coaching of assistant pastor in conflict with his previous senior pastor

8

Mediation

Marriage/Family

No

BJS Husband and wife, owners of a counseling firm, are in conflict. She feels "missed" and "not heard" by her husband. Both have a past involving severe addictions. He is currently an elder at a church. They are responding beautifully to our coaching. God used Psalm 32:5 (I will confess my sin against myself to the Lord) to galvanize him to make a beautiful confession to her. Excited to see how their relationship develops.

20

Coaching

Church/School

No

O The two paid pastors of a church are in conflict. The lead pastor apparently is driven, critical, and insensitive. I have met with the three unpaid elders several times and the paid pastors several times. Plan to meet with all of them together soon for a mediation.

30

Coaching

Marriage/Family

No

RJT Husband is emotionally abusive to his wife and his children. The more I listen to him, the more I see him as embodying the ksil, one of the fools in Proverbs. He is so prone to aggressive, out-of-control criticism! He believes he is being mistreated and disrespected, so he lashes out and makes demands. We see him making some changes some of the time, but are not confident that he will repent in a long-term way. His wife is benefiting greatly from Susie's coaching.

24

Coaching

Marriage/Family

No

I primarily coach JD, but his wife LD has recently asked to join. JD came to me overwhelmed and disenchanted with his marriage. They struggle to have children, then had 2, then triplets. JD has suffered a fantasy life that has colored his view of L. J is making good progress. They are both faithful Christians and engaged with a supportive church body. More recently J's parents have entered into a precarious stage: Mom has MS and falls; Dad is not able to support her physically and they both want to continue snow birding from NJ to FL. J's brother is nearer them, but not a Christian, dismissive and going though a divorce. EW are working on the practical issues they face and encouraging them to communicate and rely on one another as well as God and the Christian community they have.

4.0

Coaching

Marriage/Family

No

Parties: JS & VS. Description: The parties came with different objectives; the husband wanted to seek a separation; the wife who was diagnosed with cancer wanted to seek reconciliation. Through the coaching session, the husband became more willing to see how his wife was hurting and struggling with cancer, and how that affected their relationship. The wife felt she had given all she had to give, and didn't want to pursue any further coaching or mediation. No agreement reached.

5.6

Coaching

Marriage/Family

No

Dispute between two brothers over multiple business issues. Previously assisted them in mediation, which resulted in an impasse. One brother sows discord with other family members and threatens libelous statements. Assisted with the formulation of responses. The case just concluded. Evaluations will be sent.

8

Mediation

Marriage/Family

No

Husband and wife experiencing intense conflict after 10 years of marriage. Discipline of children, house renovation, finance and unwanted employments has created considerable tension as they fail to work through issues without sinful anger.

4

Coaching

Marriage/Family

No

C: Case ongoing at end of year. Client's wife had filed for divorce several months earlier. We are working with client to own and address his contributions to his wife's desire to divorce, as well as to address tensions with his daughter. Sadly, the divorce will probably come to completion. The client's attorney has advised him to not deliver any confessions before the divorce settlement is determined. However, his work will help him with coparenting challenges, hopefully still provide an avenue to restore the marriage and help improve tensions with his daughter. He is doing very well.

1.0

Coaching

Marriage/Family

No

The conflict involved family relationships between a wife and husband and the children and father

2.0

Coaching

Estate

No

The dispute involved conflict between a brother and a sister involving inheritance and personal relational issues.

78

Coaching

Other

No

PR; identity and relational struggles; stemming from childhood sexual abuse and unfavored son, he struggles with self-perception and projects his (false) guilt on others, resulting in relational struggles. He is growing in accepting His identity in Christ as overriding all others (including his own). He also suffers ADHD which impacts his work productivity.

3

Coaching

Employment

No

Woman recently hired for a position struggling with whether to continue or quit over perceived slight form boss, and if continue, how to share with boss how his emails had impacted her. Coaching her helped her realize boss could not have known the sensitivities she was reacting to and that she was responding out of presumptions as to his motives (potentially sexual/racial discrimination). Her engagement with boss in desire to continue in new role built sound employment relationship.

36.5

Coaching

Marriage/Family

No

CS is now in a litigated divorce process. His wife has maintained an affair and moved out. They attended a Christian conciliation mediation process, but did not complete it due to his wife's refusal to come to agreement on an ongoing schedule for their children and to discuss final resolution of finances. We have walked trough getting the children into therapy and the vagaries of his wife's stonewalling and seeming disinterest in concluding the case (she already views them as 'not married'). CS is maintaining a strong faith, working through the grief and maintaining good relationships with his children and faithful friends. He is now holding a forgiving attitude toward his wife and praying she will repent....

32.5

Coaching

Marriage/Family

No

TC is in a litigated divorce process. He both wants separation and wants to preserve the marriage, but his wife has been unwilling to engage in marriage therapy, marital retreat or Christian conciliation. He grew up with a controlling and hypercritical father (parents divorced) and is strengthening his faith and practical walking in obedience as he suffers. He has been consistently stonewalled and is seeking to do the next right thing as he suffers.

48

Mediation

Marriage/Family

No

KW & BS have had an on/off relationship since grade-school. The are both Christians, both previously married and divorced. BS has struggled with infidelity for years, and recently ahs become celibate and devoted to KW. KW suffered serial sexual abuse for family members as a young child and is making good progress on noticing and controlling her reactivity and fearful suspicions of BS. Her reactivity has been a barrier to them moving forward on marriage, until recently. They are now engaged and both working on their growing relationship.

27.5

Coaching

Other

No

KR suffers severe PTSD stemming from multiple TBIs incurred during his active duty service in the Marine Corps. He is often depressed which impacts his availability to work and relationships, but holds a strong faith that keeps him. He is twice divorced and has a girlfriend who seems understanding and supportive, but takes some of his limited energy. I am working in concert with his physician and the TBI clinic. Much of our work is faith oriented and focused on healthy routine, NOT overextending himself, so he can rebuild his emotional and energy reserves.

17

Coaching

Marriage/Family

Yes

Pre-premarital coaching and then premarital coaching. Parties gave strong verbal feedback of how much they appreciated the coaching.

12

Coaching

Employment

No

Issues with manager at work. Difficult work situation. Mental health issues involved. Lack of support in work environment. Family support nil. I believe this case is now resolved with this employer.

2

Coaching

Marriage/Family

No

BH (friend) asked me to coach him regarding a long-standing conflict with his brother. No miraculous breakthrough, but progress was made.

53

Coaching

Marriage/Family

No

A&BH came to me after suffering injury from a previous Christian therapist. WE have focused on healing through forgiveness and looking at what God is illuminating in their lives together (they also have 4 children). B suffered sexual abuse as child and is sensitive and often demurring with A. A can be very matter-of-fact which can feel harsh to B. We are working on improved deeper, more honest conversations and holding one another with the love of Christ, including tenderness, truth and forgiveness.

8.05

Mediation

Church/School

No

Case involved a personal injury sustained by student at Christian school event. The case had been previously mediated and an impasse reached. Plaintiff increased their demand by 50% at mediation, shocking everyone, and with no movement towards compromise. Case resulted in an Impasse, and is going to binding arbitration.

55

Mediation

Church/School

No

Virtual and onsite coaching and mediation with congregational involvement. Key parties repaired their relationships and created a 'going forward plan'. They reported to the board and all were grateful for God's mercy and grace!

30

Mediation

Marriage/Family

No

Highly conflicted couple. Adultery discovered after a two day mediation.

10

Coaching

Marriage/Family

No

DH experiences relational struggles, particularly with his brother who suffers SMI and is often institutionalized or incarcerated. DM himself suffers Bipolar Disorder and severe effects of Lyme Disease. He is 'disabled' and receiving disability. DH has a clear identity in Christ that sustains his hope; and he suffers mightily. We focus on daily activities and how to interact with difficult and aggressive people.

24.4

Mediation

Marriage/Family

No

Family dispute regarding finances and control of trusts. (Father-daughter) Although there was initial confession and forgiveness, old habits continued even during mediation. One of the parties could not be satisfied with any proposal unless they got everything they wanted. An Impasse resulted.

4

Coaching

Other

No

Friend/next-door neighbor relationship estranged over one the dad's threatening son of neighbor over incident between neighbor's son and his daughter on school bus. Son's father sent scathing e-mail condemnation to neighbor daughter's father. Neighbor responded in kind, denigrating the other parent's parenting and son. Two months of silence and awkward avoidance ensued. Coaching of Son's Dad on living out Mat. 5:23-4, first focusing on his multiple logs and acceptance of gossip about neighbor.

6

Coaching

Church/School

Yes

BL returned to see me about working to resolve church conflict. He had previously worked with me to resolve loss of his father and his wife's disenchantment with being a pastor's wife. She is now fully supportive. We looked at his communication style and sought resolution through Conflict to Peace (which his elders did not accept). Eventually the church polity refused the elder's efforts to dismiss BL as their pastor and reinforced their need to seek to resolve and make peace. The objecting elder refused again and left the church. BL continues to seek new elders and unite his mall body of hurt believers.

9

Coaching

Marriage/Family

No

RD is in a litigated divorce situation with an abusive spouse. He has a strong faith and is fearful that his daughter will be swayed by her mother and destroy his relationship with the daughter. They go to Court next month. He lost his father to cancer last year. He has also recently lost his job. WE are focusing on God's faithful lovingkindness, regardless of our circumstances and suffering.

100?

Coaching

Other

No

Ongoing consult with AoR/ICC Case Admin on probably most every case by either ongoing email review or verbal debrief on countless cases, including one I may arbitrate.

4

Coaching

Estate

No

Ongoing dispute relative to bequest payable to church by estate

3

Coaching

Marriage/Family

No

Consult w Couple dealing with family issues

20

Mediation

Business

Yes

AoR assignment for sums owed by family to Christian school

25

Coaching

Other

No

RC Grievance from ICC Peace

2

Mediation

Marriage/Family

No

Called in by mutual friends to address family dispute involving medical issues.

23

Coaching

Marriage/Family

No

CW lost her mother to an auto accident nearly 2 years ago. she has continued working through grief and finding her way without the mission of caring for her mom. This is complicated by her 3 siblings choosing to blame and litigate the accident. C expressed she did not want to participate or hear about the litigation, yet the mother's estate is encumbered by the litigation process. She is working to restore estranged relationships with her siblings and extended family (they have a family culture of not honestly addressing issues, but cutting off anyone they differ with. C is living out a different model. she is growing in confidence in God and who God ahs made her to be, and now wondering what God ahs for her life going forward.

31

Coaching

Marriage/Family

No

AM & CM are a married couple, having overcome an adulterous affair, they have a young son and have worked to adopt a 17 y/o teen girl 'in the system' with a history of multiple failed placements (she was horribly abused by her biological parents who trafficked her as a child). after about one month 'honeymoon phase' the girl started rebelling, acting out and ultimately fled. She also made false allegations of abuse (also repeated in her past placements). We have focused on grief, recovery and prayer for this lost soul who does claim Jesus as her savior. Having overcome these trials the couple is now considering another adoption or trying for another natural-born child (AM had near fatal eclampsia with their first child). They continue to hold strong together in their faith and CM has entered seminary, wondering what God has for him in the future. It is a privilege to walk with them.

18

Coaching

Marriage/Family

No

AS2, after reconciling with her husband, returned to work through an emergent diagnosis of stage 4 breast cancer and the whirlwind of issues that ensued with radiation, surgery and more radiation while her parents and brother remained cold and distant. Much loss and disorientation. Her husband remains a rock for her, and she is grieving, forgiving and not presenting herself to her dismissive family of origin yet willing for God to work a miracle. She is now reconsidering her professional goals and seeing God working. She quit and has now resumed radiation therapy.

16.4

Mediation

Marriage/Family

Yes

Marital abuse by husband. Plan for security and stability reached and memorialized in comprehensive MOU. Parties remain together.

2.25

Coaching

Church/School

No

G and K wanted to meet again following a mediation that I led last year. G hoped that he had done everything needed, but after hearing from him, I encouraged him to keep working towards peace with those who continued to wound him. I have not heard yet about the outcome.

8

Coaching

Other

No

NR Young adult woman, a first generation immigrant to the US, wanted help dealing with same sex attraction. She has experienced much chaos and abuse in her childhood and adolescence. She saw clearly how her beliefs developed and wants freedom from her same sex temptation.

3

Coaching

Church/School

No

K agreed to have me help her in her relationship with D, her colleague. I gave her homework from the Peacemaker and sought to help her process what she needs to communicate that isn’t yet resolved.

2

Coaching

Other

No

D has run into conflict with several others in his ministry. D initially was open to working towards reconciliation, but his wife told him he’d done enough, so I will work with K and then D to probe further.

1.25

Coaching

Church/School

No

R has had ongoing relational tension with a pastor who now leads the fellowship he began, J. R struggled as to how to address this conflict and with the ambiguity of the leadership structure. R has continued to be able to work collaboratively with the church since then.

1

Coaching

Marriage/Family

No

D has been having problems with his father-in-law, whom he called “abusive.” After having listened and asked questions, and offered counsel, D said that he had gained some very important perspective. This has led him to be able to relate with his father-in-law in a better light.

5

Coaching

Marriage/Family

No

D desired to have me coach her regarding her strained relationship with her mother and father-in-law. Although this dispute involved a business, there was no paperwork to prove the substantive matter, so I focused on coaching her regarding her relationship with her mother, who seemed most open to working things through. I have not heard about the outcome.

25

Coaching

Church/School

No

Pastor J contacted me about an ongoing between the elders at the church he now leads in Owosso and two families that left the church. The elders decided to work with Anne B. Fifer and I, and we approached the other parties, who seemed to initially agree for us to mediate. We mostly shuttled back and forth between the parties after that, coaching them and seeking to bring them together. However, we were ultimately unable to get them to come together, exhausting all of our efforts.

5

Coaching

Marriage/Family

No

B’s son A is living with his parents but not respecting their boundaries. His parents met with me to have me help them decide on a plan of action. They came up with a plan, and I have sought to encourage them to follow through rather than giving into his bad behavior. He was not open to meeting with me. I do not believe that the son has been responding very positively.

10

Coaching

Marriage/Family

No

CW is a pastor's wife, needing help in her relationships in church and home.

55

Mediation

Church/School

Yes

A senior pastor and associate pastor were deeply distrustful because of past actions by each of them. Thier conflict worsened over 2-3 years until they we unable to work together and asked for Christian conciliation assistance.

25+

Arbitration

Other

No

AB Arbitration

30

Mediation

Marriage/Family

No

This was a marriage mediation. They had never been able to be intimate even after 12 years of marriage. By God's grace they have reconciled and continue to grow.

110

Mediation

Church/School

Yes

Conflict over ministries, the response to missteps of a youth leader, allegations of pastor both avoiding direct conflict in the moment, but not resolving actual conflict. The pastors wife died between Phase 1 and Phase 2 visit. Instigating conflict - families felt that their children were not safe with youth leader - and leadership had not responded well. They had restricted some of what the youth leader could do with adults because of concerns, but left him with responsibility for youth.

60

Coaching

Other

No

Pregnancy Distress Centre started in 2022. There was a disagreement between the board and the executive director. The ED completed all of the conflict coaching, with thoroughness. By the end of the process, she felt her heart had been changed and she was walking in full forgiveness. The Board members did not engage and were seemingly blind to their contribution to the issues. The Board prohibited a full investigation. With the ED's agreement we presented our findings of her situation to the Board but 'they didn't get it'. We closed the file at the end of November 2023.

26

Mediation

Marriage/Family

No

Highly conflicted couple with a resistant husband. I continue serving the wife occasionally.