12.5

Coaching

Marriage/Family

No

C&AM had seen me to resolve marital infidelity years ago, which has been healed. Since then, AM had a problem and life-threatening pregnancy (preeclampsia), a healthy birth (boy) and an attempt to adopt a teenage girl (which went poorly and she ran away and made false accusations about 'dad' - since resolved legally, but the pain remains. AM is pregnant again and they both seek counsel as she has more difficulties (high BP). They both work high stress jobs and have learned to support teach other well and manage their stress loads (both also have challenging dynamics with their parents (both divorced and remarried). They are growing in their faith together through the challenges they face and are responsive to God and plugged in to a church family.

25.2

Coaching

Marriage/Family

No

KW&BS presented for relational reconciliation. They are both divorced with children for their first marriages and have struggled to resolve their allegiances to each other and their (his/BS's) children. BS has a history of co-dependency with his children and competition with his ex who abandoned the family. KW has a history of trauma stemming from childhood which rears its head when they are in conflict (she attacks and he avoids). We worked through much of these issues and they married. They are still battling patterns and dynamics, but KW is actively working on it (BS is still often avoidant). They are both engaged in the Word and church.

15

Mediation

Marriage/Family

No

A&AS presented to mediate their divorce which husband desired and wife initially did not. They have 2 children together and A (husband) has 2 from previous relationships. They have responded to the Word and Spirit and become peaceful and cooperative with each other, but are not amendable to reconciliation. We are in the final stages, having successfully worked through the custody plan and most of the financial separation agreement. They are reviewing the first draft and we will meet to deal with any corrections and some remaining details next week. I have a co-conciliator.

9.5

Mediation

Marriage/Family

No

P&NN presented for marital reconciliation (they have been separated for years with adult children, and we discovered the PN actually divorced his wife - NN while separated in a different jurisdiction). Both seemed open at first, but PN has stalled doing his homework and, after his father's recent passing, gone silent. He has responded after prompts that he will reengage, but has not. We (my co-conciliator and I) are determining whether to keep the case open or terminate.

3

Coaching

Marriage/Family

No

This is a reopening of a coaching case with TE. she has 3 adult step-children who have teamed to oppose her and their father - making demands and shunning both. Dad has a long history of enabling and is making efforts to change his ways for the children's sake, but their opposition is strong. He is somewhat depressed and has turned to drinking to soothe himself. TE is working to remember who she is in Christ and not succumb to the hurtful, manipulative words and behaviors that are employed against her. Her faith is strong, but she comes form a significant trauma background and she benefits form encouragement in the Word.

10

Coaching

Marriage/Family

No

J&BS presented seeking to resolve longstanding marital issues, brought to a head by B (husband) hiding and lying about an ongoing (no-sexual, distant /text/ relationship with a childhood girlfriend). He has seen it as infrequent, largely political banter; while J feels betrayed, more by the perpetual lying about the relationship than the actual relationship. They early on divided roles in the marriage (J raised the children and B provided for the family. B was never content with that but felt minimized and bulldozed by J. We have been working on perspective taking and developing empathy and forgiveness. Both are carrying anger and resentment but in different ways: B is avoidant and passive-aggressive and J is aggressive. They both love each other, but need to look to the other's interest, not exclusively their own. Neither has a significant trauma history, but J's loss of her mother to cancer when she was 4y/o has her insecure in close relationships. They have not been attending church which was recommended. I'm praying and watching for the Spirit to open and move their hearts.

21

Coaching

Marriage/Family

No

JD continues to benefit from semi-regular coaching as he negotiates life challenges. His wife has experienced a depressive episode and his parents health has continued to decline. His 5 children remain a challenge, with their son experiencing an autoimmune vasculitis and one of their daughters experiencing precocious puberty (9y/o). Despite these challenges and a raft of flus and colds, the marriage has repaired and they remain strong with and for one another.

39

Coaching

Marriage/Family

No

KR is an ongoing client still struggling consequences of TBI in the Marine Corps and relational betrayals. He has continued to benefit from coaching on healthy practices and perspective taking in relationships. He has experienced ongoing depression (dysthymia) and is struggling to get treatment that does not interfere with his work schedule. We are exploring options with his PCP.

78.5

Coaching

Marriage/Family

No

PR continues to advantage coaching as he navigates his life. Growing in faith, he has most recently encountered the simultaneous and mysterious death of his wife's parents and concerns about his wife's sister's boyfriend, who inserts himself and seems to be abusive. PR also struggles with ongoing false guilt over a childhood friend then adulterous brother-in-law who has not owned his impact on the family.

32

Coaching

Marriage/Family

No

CS struggled though a divorce this year after initial attempts at Christian mediation failed (wife's stonewalling the process). He is now through with the Court process, living separately and co-parenting his children on a 2-2-5 schedule. He continues to hold distrust with his ex and seeks help with co-parenting and the children's adjustment needs.

12

Coaching

Marriage/Family

No

AH has continued to seek monthly coaching to deal with his disability and family relationships complicated by his brother's criminal activity and verbally abusive and threatening words (and SMI), his siblings alienation of him and AH's desire to bring peace and reconciliation to his family. He has continued to learn to live with his disability and has this year begun auditing and taking courses for credit through CCEF.

40+

Mediation

Marriage/Family

No

Allison Picking and I did an emergency Assistance with a couple who already filed for divorce. The woman was receptive and helped. The man was hard, deceptive, manipulative and not helped as much. She is continuing with the divorce. I believe/hope they will experience it less destructively.

1

Coaching

Marriage/Family

No

newly married couple struggling with husband's significant anxiety. wife feels rejected and sad when she perceives her husband to be angry and stonewalling. I encouraged them with Psalm 142 - particularly v 2 and what that would look like in their marriage. We worked on a strategy together and they will contact me when needed.

1

Coaching

Marriage/Family

No

Husband and wife contacted me as they disagreed on how to respond to their 17 year old daughter's announcement that she considers herself to be 'they' and non binary and her decision to live with her school friend's family to get away from 'religion'. The wife recently requested ongoing coaching.

more than 50 hours in 2024

Coaching

Marriage/Family

No

A professional women with a high profile public role reached out for help in early 2023 as she was dissatisfied with her marriage and was having an emotional affair with another man. She does not attend church and hasn't done all of her adult life yet the Holy Spirit is on the move and she wants to obey God and grow in her relationship with Jesus. She contacts me regularly for me to pray for her and guide her in her very demanding work and life. I would estimate that in 2024 more than 6 hours of our time together was for coaching in respect of her marriage and conflict with a colleague in her workplace.

2.5

Coaching

Marriage/Family

No

Since 2020 I have been helping a couple with severe conflict in their marriage. the wife is likely a sufferer of borderline personality disorder but a brave lover of Jesus who has grown spiritually during this time. I sometimes meet with them together and sometimes just with the wife. During 2024 I met with the wife for just 2.5 hours as she is doing so much better and has been able to join a church and a small group bible study group. She reaches out to talk when the conflict with her husband is severe.

9 hours

Coaching

Marriage/Family

No

Husband left his wife and their jointly run business to care for his ailing mother 1,500klms away. His wife felt abandoned. She was also left to run their tyre repair business without the labour of her husband or his support. There was little communication between them. He had always been an angry man and in his sixties was becoming harder to live with his wife reported. She requested mediation but he would not agree. I provided conflict coaching to the wife for about 8 hours over a period of months and one session with her husband in which he agreed to work with me towards me facilitating a conversation but his fear and lack of privacy in his parents home got in the way. However, they were able to improve their communication and the wife visited her husband on several occasions. The wife contacts me when she feels the need for help in navigating their marriage.

20+

Mediation

Church/School

Yes

Church conflict between pastor and members of the elder board. Extensive coaching of the parties was done by Saddleback Church Reconciliation Ministry team. I mentored the team through coaching and then assisted with the two-day mediation. Parties celebrated reconciliation.

48

Coaching

Church/School

No

Church conflict involving pastor, board and staff. We conflict-coached 10 individuals to prepare them for a January 2025 mediation.

17

Coaching

Church/School

No

Conflict between two pastors; case referred by church elders. My co-conciliator and I have coached each pastor with a view towards mediation, but one pastor is participating only occasionally and reluctantly.

9

Coaching

Church/School

No

Pre-mediation work with church staff and church volunteer who are at odds with each other. Because church staff member left position and refused to mediate, case is not resolved. I have reached out to staff member and continue to hope to help in this situation.

20

Coaching

Marriage/Family

No

Throughout the year I did conflict coaching with individuals: marriage and church cases. Example: I did conflict coaching with a man who was excommunicated by an abusive pastor who retaliated when the man called this pastor to repentance. I coached a woman fleeing an abusive husband and helped her seek safety and move out.

15

Coaching

Church/School

No

Ongoing conflict coaching among the Hutterite people, whom we serve as Bible translators in Canada and the US. See case description from previous year (01/09/2024) *Even though I never explicitly request any feedback, the people I am helping do express to me how thankful they are and how helpful it has been.

20

Mediation

Marriage/Family

No

I just started this family mediation case. The main issues are among a mother, her oldest daughter, and her husband, the son in-law, although the whole family of 5 is affected by the conflict. So far, I have only done pre-mediation coaching. There are a lot of issues, including trauma and alcohol addiction within the family, which are affecting all relationships. Mother and son in-law had a falling out with the result of him forbidding her to be with the grandkids, which is very hard for her. At the moment, she is only willing to talk with her daughter, but not with the son in-law. I might have to meet with only the mother and daughter first to resolve their issues, of which many stem from the past and their very dysfunctional home. However, I will definitely work towards getting all the affected parties together (mother, daughter, and son in-law) for a mediation. The issues that the mother has with the the son in-law is mainly that he puts himself in a position of authority that he doesn't have, over her and the whole family. The father, who is the alcoholic and the cause of a lot of the past trauma, is not so much in the picture any more. I am open to include the other sister and the father in further discussions, should the need arise.

15

Coaching

Marriage/Family

No

I have been coaching an elderly couple to help them navigate a conflict that has arisen within their daughter's family. The couple are Christians, but their daughter plus husband and two teenage children are not. They all live on the same property, so have a lot of interaction with each other. The main conflict is between the older son (18) and his mom, although the relationship to his dad is also not a good one. A few years ago, the dad was unfaithful and the parents separated. Then, after 4 years, the mom let dad move back in with them. Since then, the son has become more and more hostile towards his parents, but especially towards his mom. As grandparents, the elderly couple have always been very involved in the children's lives and have been taking care of the grandkids, especially during the parents separation. A while ago, their grandson moved in with them and they seem to have his trust. I have been working with them towards helping their daughter and son in-law to see how they as parents have hurt their children in this whole process. My goal is to eventually bring the whole family together to have an open and honest conversation so that all the issues can be understood and dealt with. I believe trust has been severely broken (especially for the children) and that needs to be acknowledged. This will hopefully help the relationship to be restored, or at least get this process started.

25

Coaching

Marriage/Family

No

Since the first two cases cover the required 20 hours, this submission is just for 5 or 6 conversations via email and/or Zoom, with students from the marriage counseling course Dawna & I taught for BRTS Latvia. Primarily helping some intelligent Russia women wisely navigate marriages to difficult husbands.

25

Mediation

Marriage/Family

No

This is an ongoing marriage mediation, initiated by the wife. Her issues are mainly neglect, non-communication, and a suspected adulterous relationship by the husband. He denies all these allegations, saying that his wife is mentally unstable. It turned out that the woman has been on psychotics for many years and also tried to commit suicide a number of times. She is in psychiatric care right now, so we had to stop our meetings. It is unsure at this point, whether we will be able to continue with the mediation because of the woman's mental health situation. Our last meeting was on October 7, 2024.

25

Mediation

Church/School

No

I'll ask for feedback soon. We're using the RW360 feedback form. This was a priest and a pastor in conflict. The coaching and mediation went very well. I did this case alone.

22

Coaching

Church/School

No

I have been coaching a young woman who is in a conflict with her pastor. The conflict was brought on through some misunderstandings with the result of the pastor avoiding and even openly opposing the woman, who always had a ministry in the church. (I know this pastor personally and I suspect that he felt threatened by her.) Since then, no attempt to explain herself or show of love and respect for him and his position as pastor seemed to help. Only recently, he completely changed his attitude toward her and even gave his ok for her to lead her ministry again (which he resisted in the past). He still hasn't talked with her to address the issues, but at least now there is an open door again for further communication. PTL! :)

15

Coaching

Marriage/Family

No

I have been doing ongoing conflict coaching for many years now among my three siblings, who are all in conflict with each other. I have done a mediation for them a few years ago with a partially satisfying outcome. In the last year, great progress has been made among my two brothers, who don't know the Lord. Right now, my focus is to help them to resolve their issues from their childhood. An added difficulty is that they live in another country and I don't see them very often. I do have phone conversations with them.

29.75

Coaching

Church/School

No

Anne Fifer invited me to mediate a conflict between two pastors. The overseers wanted a neutral third party, and we began in person with both pastors in August. One of the pastors didn't begin meeting with us after completing some of his assignment until many months later. This case involves potential abuse.

1.50

Coaching

Other

No

The conflict coaching involves an individual in conflict with multiple parties involving multiple transactions and relationships. The individual appears to be genuine in his desire to resolve the conflicts based upon Scripture. The individual is challenged by a desire to "hold people accountable". The individual is challenged by the desire for "justice".

.70

Coaching

Building/Property/Construction

No

The dispute involves flooring installation in a residence. The conflict involves the quality of the work, payment for the work and replacement of defective work. The home owner made attempts to resolve the conflict but the contractor has not been responsive.

.50

Coaching

Other

No

Dispute involved conflict between siblings and conflict between children and mother. The conflict involved ownership in and operation and control of a family businesses and future inheritance issues.

.80

Coaching

Other

No

The dispute involves conflict between a franchisor and an franchisee involved in ministry to business executives. The conflict involves the contractual relationship, compensation and potential termination of the relationship.

1.50

Coaching

Marriage/Family

No

Dispute involving Pastor and Church members and Church elders. Dispute involved conflict between teenagers and parents of teenagers. The dispute involved gossip, judgment and condemnation. The conflict caused division among all involved.

1.50

Coaching

Employment

No

The dispute involved a ministry and a former employees. The parties were represented by lawyers. The employee was terminated for taking sensitive property from the employer. The conflict involved a breach of duty and alleged justification for the wrongful conduct.

1.0

Coaching

Building/Property/Construction

No

Construction dispute between home owner, general contractor and sub-contractor. Home owner made attempts to resolve. Contractor and sub-contractor refused to respond, address issues, accept any responsibility.

43.50

Arbitration

Employment

No

Dispute between Christian School and former employee involving allegations of discrimination, wrongful termination, etc. Involves significant emotional and anger issues.

3.50

Coaching

Other

No

The conflict involves the post-divorce relationship between the parents of a small child as related to the child being in the presence of a third party in a relationship with one of the parents. There are other issues involving lack of forgiveness, anger, bitterness, alleged manipulation and alleged control. There are other issues involving communication, judgment, condemnation and how the ex-spouses will parent going forward.

35

Coaching

Church/School

No

I'll be asking soon. This is a church in the midwest. Scott Owen and I did a Phase 1 (teaching and lots of coaching). The key conflicted party resigned before we came and did not participate so they felt helped but probably won't have us back for mediations. (They still might).

25

Coaching

Marriage/Family

No

Woman, (E) has handicapped teen-aged child. She is navigating conflict with her para and care-giver at school. Conflict with school authorities. These have been largely resolved, although the next chapter of her child's life after she turns 18 and is no longer in the school system is her next challenge. What will E do? We are investigating solutions, including those people with whom she has reconciled at the school. Ongoing case, as E is very perfectionistic and demanding. She is learning, however to trust in God's sovereign care and control.

52

Coaching

Marriage/Family

No

Ongoing dispute among the members of two Christian families involving the relationship between a son of one family and a daughter of the other family. Parties had agreed to prepare for a mediation however not all parties have yet invested the time in the process to move toward the mediation. Coaching continues.

44

Mediation

Marriage/Family

No

Ongoing dispute among the members of two Christian families involving the relationship between a son of one family and a daughter of the other family. Parties had agreed to prepare for a mediation however not all parties have yet invested the time in the process to move toward the mediation. Coaching continues.

45.3 in 2024

Mediation

Marriage/Family

No

Family relational conflict between parents and son/daughter-in-law which has intensified with the transfer of governance of the family business from father to son and the father's subsequent disappointment with the son's choices and performance.

100?

Coaching

Other

No

Ongoing consult with AoR/ICC Case Admin on probably most every case by either ongoing email review or verbal debrief on countless cases, including one I may arbitrate.

16 hours

Mediation

Marriage/Family

Yes

Adult daughter wanted to confront parents about some items. We established some coaching and had two short mediations between her and her parents. They were able to understand each other, establish some guidelines for going forward. The daughter still needs to work on some heart issues. The parents recognized some important heart issues.

5.85

Coaching

Marriage/Family

No

Party to court ordered secular mediation sought coaching on bringing his wife back to consider restoring the marriage. Significant focus on need for transparent repentance on his part for his adultery, and changes from what had been a manipulative approach to gaining her reconsideration.

23

Coaching

Marriage/Family

No

MW woman married to pastor. Husband no longer pastors church but she is left with his anger, bitterness and resentment. This case is ongoing. She is also faced with conflict between her husband and her adult children. She is learning to be a peacemaker herself.

25+

Coaching

Marriage/Family

No

Two brothers and their families have been estranged for 3-4 years, due to one family's assessment that the other brother is controlling and critical. Harsh confrontations in the past caused further problems. I have been doing conflict coaching with both families since the spring, and am nearing the point of getting them together for mediation.

2.3

Coaching

Marriage/Family

No

Party sought coaching on addressing spouses expressed concerns that were leading to that spouse seeking separation. Addressed the coached party's choices and what led to them. Ultimately it became clear that the party really was seeking legal advice on tactics in potential mediation, despite his signed agreement to the contrary.

15

Coaching

Marriage/Family

No

A husband has been negligent and distant (formerly unfaithful), and was asked to leave the home. I have been counseling/coaching him toward repentance and reconciliation, while one of our biblical counselors has been working with his wife. He has been VERY untrustworthy in the past, making it complicated.

4.3

Coaching

Marriage/Family

No

Parents were estranged from their daughter after the daughter lost a child to cancer. Coached parents on communications with daughter and steps to pursue reconciliation.

12

Coaching

Other

No

Ongoing conflict coaching with the board of a Christian non-profit. Most work coaching to date was in the summer and fall of 2023. The board brought in a new executive director and that leader is now assessing the need for ongoing coaching with staff and board.

16

Coaching

Other

No

Ongoing conflict coaching with the board of a Christian non-profit. Most work coaching to date was in the summer and fall of 2023. The board brought in a new executive director and that leader is now assessing the need for ongoing coaching with staff and board.

12

Coaching

Marriage/Family

No

marital dispute that led to a protective order and trying to work through parenting time.

40+

Mediation

Church/School

No

Several church staff members approached their lead pastor and elder board with complaints against a former staff executive pastor who had resigned after the failure of his marriage. Their complaints included allegations of harshness in his supervision of them, dishonesty, and verbal and emotional abuse. I interviewed every staff member, provided conflict coaching to several of them, met with the departed executive pastor multiple times to provide him with conflict coaching, and ultimately brought him together with two staff members in two separate conciliation meetings.

At least 35 hours

Mediation

Church/School

No

Case involved a church wide conflict. There was conflict among the board and between the board and church members. I worked on this case with Patrick Drury and CRG. I believe CRG will ask them to do feedback on the conciliators in due time. On November 16, 2024 we had our last debrief with the board via zoom. We did two separate weekend site visits to the church in OH. I don't know if they are satisfied or not... I get the sense they are still highly conflicted and not yet at peace. Patrick and I reported to the board that one individual was resistant to acknowledging any wrong doing in mediation and suggested that they follow up on that.

7

Coaching

Marriage/Family

Yes

A recently married couple in conflict with the wife's father, on whose property they lived. Complex conflict with him as landlord, partial employer, and father (& in-law)--on a rural farm where everyone is expected to do everything all the time! And (the kitchen sink) the father has a TBI, leading to little filtering of speech or emotions. Couple learning to sort "cares" (of of our control) from "responsibilities" (God's calling, step by step). Likely will see them again.

5.5

Coaching

Marriage/Family

No

Party: SB Description: The client is seeking coaching on reconciling with his estranged wife. The client conceded he had multiple extramarital relationships, but had come back to the Lord in repentance of his sin against his wife. The coaches worked with this client to understand the hurt his wife had experienced which he came to acknowledge, and he came to understand his need to offer her sacrificial love -- to accept her need to seek a divorce, but yet to offer her support for Christian counseling to help her overcome the grief and loss she is experiencing.

20 hours

Mediation

Church/School

Yes

Conflict in leadership team that required two short mediations. Hours of coaching with the pastor and two meetings of a couple hours each with two core leaders. Understandings were met. The pastor had already requested forgiveness, Restoration was complicated since individuals compared notes and were holding second hand offenses.

7.5

Coaching

Marriage/Family

No

Parties; NN & PN Description: The husband is seeking to restore his marriage; the wife is seeking to "clarify" their relationship, re-establish trust, respect and communication with her husband. The wife was very tentative about re-establishing personal contact with her husband, as she felt he had dominated their relationship and she didn't feel any love or respect from him. The husband feels "abandoned" by his wife who left him and went "home" to care for her very sick father. After early coaching, the wife has agreed to establish more communication with the husband. The husband has agreed to consider her desire for "arms-length" discussions and begin to communicate his deep love for her in a way acceptable to her rather than simply requesting/demanding that she consider reconciliation. They continue to communicate offline at this point.

4

Mediation

Marriage/Family

No

Parties: AS & AS Description: The parties came to mediation to prepare a separation agreement and property settlement. In early discussions, the husband submits that the wife is difficult to live with and he is not willing to consider reconciliation. The wife does not feel that the husband respects or even loves her, and is critical of all her actions and decisions. The coaches have spent time with both parties reminding them of Christ's love for each of them and his forgiveness freely offered, as a basis for establishing more secure and open communication between the parties. The case is ongoing.

14.1

Coaching

Marriage/Family

No

Mediation commenced with a married couple. During the coaching phase, significant, unrepentant sin on the part of one spouse was discovered as well as possible abuse. Spouse was confronted. Mediation was suspended and oversight transitioned to church leadership to implement a recovery plan.

30+

Mediation

Church/School

No

I worked with a conflicted leadership team at a church in Hillsboro, Kansas. I interviewed all of the pastoral staff members and all of the elders. I then provided conflict coaching to one of the pastors and three of the elders over the course of several months. Then, in October, I facilitated three days of conciliation meetings resulting in the reconciliation of the pastor with the three elders. I provided additional training on biblical conflict resolution to the entire church leadership team.

80+

Mediation

Church/School

Yes

Peter Louie and I made two onsite visits to an ethnic church. Some were very responsive and helped. The elder chairman was upset because we didn't fix the problems in the church (being unable to recognize that he was one of the problems!). Others were very teachable and grew/benefited from it. All agreed that our teaching and coaching was excellent. The only discontent was about the outcomes of the mediations that feel short of the expectations of some. We followed process well and loved people well. The mediations revealed some ugliness in the heart such that the church leaders could respond with more clarity, which they have. I'm glad we went. I think we served them well.

60+

Mediation

Church/School

Yes

A couple who left a church had a conflict with the elders and pastor of the church. Did extensive coaching with all parties and three mediation meetings. Parties celebrated reconciliation.

4

Mediation

Church/School

Yes

Church intervention between the pastor and one church member. Mediation held and each party provided a Summary of Important Conversations.

8

Coaching

Church/School

No

Coaching the pastor and church member in preparation for the mediation.

46.7

Mediation

Church/School

Yes

Dispute between Christian school and family of student.

2

Coaching

Marriage/Family

No

A husband in a complicated marital dispute asked that I meet with him and his wife from whom he was separated. I discussed the matter with him at length and he told me there was too much tension now to think mediation would be helpful. He was going to try to have his wife meet with him and their pastor.

15

Mediation

Marriage/Family

No

Feedback was given, without request, positive resolution to long-standing marital conflict with separation looming. Repentance by husband for explosive anger, torpedoing his marriage. This after one session, such is the power of the Spirit! from Scripture and study of Spiritual MRI Questions study. Then worked on practical decision-making methods for their family business, which was the typical occasion for conflict.

13

Mediation

Marriage/Family

No

Parties: JK & SK Description: The parties came to mediation to develop a separation agreement. The wife claimed verbal and emotional abuse throughout the marriage; the husband did not affirm the abuse, and felt the wife had maligned his personal and professional reputation with her allegations. Nevertheless, initially, the husband wanted to seek reconciliation but finally came to understand the wife would not reconcile their marriage. The parties came to agreement on a separation agreement, including distribution of assets; and came to establish better communication regarding family issues.

10

Coaching

Marriage/Family

No

CW has 3 siblings (one saved). Their mother passed when hit by an ambulance and her siblings chose to sue (CW did not want to and chose to stay separate from that action). Her siblings became angry with her, as did one of her nieces and largely alienated her. We worked on understanding their different expression of the pain of loss; staying completely separate (made difficult because she was exclusive cosigner on her mother's accounts). CW was able to make a strong, gentle appeal and to keep showing up for her siblings and nieces, making apologies for perceived affronts and seeking their good. The family anger has waned and they are on the road to a better relationship.

65

Mediation

Church/School

Yes

Conflict between long time church members and second pastor of church. Confusion of authority, responsibility, and care leading to lots of conflict, disregard of others, etc. The church also had conflict and conflicting views with its denomination and governing region. The planting and long term pastor had retired, but was still part of the conflict as well. Finances, building use, loans, Christian education, ways of worship, doctrine all was part of the challenges.

17.1 in 2024

Mediation

Marriage/Family

Yes

Severe marital dysfunction for many years. Mediation to identify and resolve multiple issues.

8

Coaching

Marriage/Family

No

I coached a pastor's wife whose husband was being disciplined at his church. They were navigating a separation and I coached to manage the conflicts that were arising with her children through this tumultuous time.

5

Coaching

Marriage/Family

No

This was a follow-up coaching meeting from the mediation I did with an extended family in December and January (01/04/2024). The mother wanted some advice about an upcoming family holiday. I suggested a family meeting with specific questions for everyone. The result was that the issues that the daughter and son-in-law had with them, are now completely resolved and trust has been restored. *Even though I didn't ask for feedback, the parents gave me very positive feedback, saying that they would recommend me to others anytime.

2.5

Coaching

Marriage/Family

No

Custody Case for Chester County Court, PA

21.40

Mediation

Other

Yes

The conflict involved two ministries. The contractual relationship between the ministries was terminated. The conflict involved intellectual property issues. The conflict involved the rights of the parties to continue ministry efforts in a specific geographical area and a specific ministry area.

2.5

Mediation

Marriage/Family

No

Custody Case for Chester County Court, PA

14.5

Mediation

Marriage/Family

Yes

Marriage broke down while parties were a missionary team overseas. Agence sent them to counseling and then sent them home. Wife sought separation but husband opposed to divorce. Addressed confessions nd forgiveness in aspects of significantly varying perspectives on what transpired that undermined marriage. Parties addressed formal allocation of resources between them

2.5

Mediation

Marriage/Family

No

Custody Case for Chester County Court, PA

2.5

Mediation

Marriage/Family

No

Custody Case for Montgomery County Court, PA

43

Mediation

Marriage/Family

No

Marriage conflict - requested to help by pastor. Husband elder in church but just not responding to calls to love his wife and children. Significant breeches of trust, wife was losing capacity to endure. She separated. He just could not seem to take responsibility or guidance. recommended an intensive counseling experience for him to possibly help understand his barrier or heart sin keeping him from living the Gospel he professed. Church leadership supportive of recommendation.

2

Coaching

Marriage/Family

No

A son/brother obtained my name from AofR and requested that I mediate a family dispute between he and his siblings on behalf of his father. Not all siblings agreed to participate in the mediation. The brother asked if i would be willing to meet with one of his brothers and himself which he felt might move others to join in the process. It is still pending.

50

Mediation

Marriage/Family

Yes

Allison Pickering and I did a marriage conciliation / intensive. They were already filed for divorce and deeply wounded. We helped them both personally and they grew in their understanding of each other and accountability with others. They are still headed for divorce. The guy was pretty recalcitrant and low EQ.

2.5

Mediation

Marriage/Family

No

Custody Case for Chester County Court

48

Mediation

Marriage/Family

No

This married couple had been operating independently for many years and their relationship was fraught with fighting and conflict. They came to us seeking as a last ditch effort to save their marriage. We met for four days and the couple were able to find reconciliation on many of their greatest hurts and understanding was increased. They left the mediation process with a plan for how to address the remaining issues.

3.7

Mediation

Marriage/Family

Yes

Prior agreement required reassessment of Spousal support after 5 years. Parties addressed impact of significant income changes, and needs for higher education support for their children.

40

Coaching

Other

Yes

Coaching and consulting for Mission Organization - missionary on the field accused of power abuse of other missionaries and nationals of country. Coached president and board through process.

3

Mediation

Marriage/Family

No

Custody Case for Chester County Court, PA

17

Coaching

Marriage/Family

No

V and F married with adult children. Anger issues in work(family business) and at home. The husband has been reconciled with his wife and has for the first time owned his own sin against her. He is rejoicing and growing in faith and relationships with others in the family circle. Good resolution - but ongoing check-ups will be necessary.

5

Mediation

Marriage/Family

No

Met with family of two parents and seven adult children to discuss and work through fall out from father's recent adulterous relationship.

14.7

Mediation

Church/School

Yes

Conflict between Church Session and Deacon re: Deacon conduct in connection with member domestic matter and Deacon alcohol use.

160

Arbitration

Church/School

No

Actually an investigation. There was an allegation of their pastor of emotional abuse, power abuse. However, the parties wanted to reconcile and there was hope that it was an isolated situation, a misunderstanding or correctable with reconciliation and coaching or training. Turned out to be systemic and historical. After initial; interviews the staff asked to talk with us again using their personal emails and zooming from home. The investigation widened and it was determined that there was no path back for the pastor that could be kind or safe for the staff, leaders or members of the church.

55

Mediation

Church/School

No

I served as a co-conciliator with Dwight. He did most of the heavy lifting, but I was involved with coaching and assisted in the mediations. We did witness repentance and forgiveness. Public statements were made. Pastor resigned, so restoration was impacted.

2.5

Mediation

Marriage/Family

No

Custody Case for Chester County Court

2.5

Mediation

Marriage/Family

No

Custody Case for Montgomery County Court, PA

5

Coaching

Church/School

No

Provided coaching for church leaders and individuals in conflict with the hope that they can resolve the issues and reconcile.

123

Mediation

Marriage/Family

Yes

dispute

37.8

Mediation

Church/School

Yes

Conflict involving Pastor and Church leaders over doctrinal and pastoral style differences. Some leaders left and others remained. Division threatened a church split but that was avoided.

24.25

Mediation

Employment

Yes

Katie, a city ministry co-Director, requested a mediation for a fellow employee with whom she'd been in conflict. Both Katie and Daniel agreed to pre-mediation; I went through the Peacemaker with her, and Peacemaker Ministries curriculum with Daniel, then brought them together for mediation for a few sessions.

20+

Mediation

Church/School

Yes

Church conflict between a pastoring couple at one church and a pastoring couple at a church plant. Mediation was triggered by an ADR employment contract clause. Assisted all parties with extensive coaching and partial mediation. Mediation was terminated after one couple left employment and took jobs in another state. The departing couple decided since the employment relationship had terminated, they were not obligated to finish mediation. They declined an invitation to debrief with the Mediators. Mediators did debrief the remaining couple and coached Next Steps.

2.5

Mediation

Marriage/Family

No

Custody Case for Chester County Court

2

Arbitration

Other

No

Selected by random draw to be Grievance Officer for complaint against reconciler. Exchanged emails with parties but did not have opportunity to interview those involved because Complaintant withdrew grievance. Wrote Grievance Proceding Determination to document .

40

Coaching

Marriage/Family

No

Helping a couple of 15 years of marriage deal with patterns of bitterness and accusation.

2.5

Mediation

Marriage/Family

No

Custody Case for Chester County,PA

10

Coaching

Church/School

No

A conflict between two women at a church. Leslie served in women's ministry at her church and stepped in over many years to reach out to and to help another woman in need at her church. One day that other woman publicly declared that she had been hurt by her church since no one had reached out to her. Leslie was hurt and angry about how this other woman had accused Leslie publicly of not supporting her. I coached Leslie through the anger, hurt, and unforgiveness that she was holding against this other woman. After several coaching sessions, Leslie was able to see her idols and was able to forgive the other woman.

2.5

Mediation

Marriage/Family

No

Custody Case for Chester County Court

2.5

Mediation

Marriage/Family

No

Custody Case for Montgomery County Court, PA

18

Coaching

Other

No

The widow of a deceased pastor whose friends (and eventually, the widow ) had contacted me for assistance. The case potentially involves the church he was pastoring as well as family and business relationships. I have not yet completed the case and at this stage it involves Conflict Coaching in preparation for and possibly leading to mediation. As the case continues to move forward to possible completion, feedback will be requested.

3

Coaching

Marriage/Family

No

This case involves a dear friend (John) and fellow church member experiencing conflict within his blended family, specifically sibling children of his wife. The conflict carries over into anger directed by one of the children toward his mom and is impacting all relationships. The case is continuing on into 2024 and feedback will be requested at that time.

100

Mediation

Church/School

No

Dispute between the leadership (pastor, lay elders & deacons) of an independent church and the leadership of an attached daycare (board chair, executive director, and assistant director). Process included a successful mediation between the pastor and childcare executive director, and a second mediation among various leaders of both. The second mediation concluded with all in agreement that the childcare center should begin process of establishing a separate legal identity.

102

Mediation

Church/School

No

Dispute between the leadership (pastor, lay elders & deacons) of an independent church and the leadership of an attached daycare (board chair, executive director, and assistant director). Process included a successful mediation between the pastor and childcare executive director, and a second mediation among various leaders of both. The second mediation concluded with all in agreement that the childcare center should begin process of establishing a separate legal identity.

22

Mediation

Marriage/Family

No

Couple desiring separation agreement. Indicated they wanted to separate in order to gain space and heal so that they could potentially reconcile. She claimed emotional abuse and wanted it defined and stated. Also involved though was her physical abuse and emotionally damaging behavior. I failed to find a way to effectively help them, especially her to prepare, negotiate respectfully or equitably, follow guidelines, etc. I stopped working with them. They had the basics of the agreement they needed. I advised them to take it to church leadership or lawyer or another conciliator and agree and set up accountability.

5.5

Coaching

Marriage/Family

No

TC has worked through a difficult divorce and child custody agreement. He was disappointed with the outcome and made a sacrificial move to accommodate his ex-wife as she moved out of the area with primary custody of their 2 sons - moved to be near the boys and continue co-parenting. He expressed a desire to continue coaching, but - other than texted prayer requests and updates, becoming less frequent - he has not sked for a meeting since March 2024. I am concluding the case is closed, but remain open to helping him should he reengage.

2.5

Mediation

Marriage/Family

No

Custody Case done for Montgomery County Court, PA

28

Mediation

Church/School

Yes

Anglican Church leadership in conflict - loss of confidence in leadership regarding response to sexual abuse of a child by a ministry leader.

2.25

Mediation

Marriage/Family

No

Custody case for Montgomery County Court, Pa

3 hours

Coaching

Marriage/Family

No

JL - Coaching through relationship struggles with children and girlfriend

2.5

Mediation

Marriage/Family

No

Custody Case for Chester County Court, PA

2.5

Mediation

Marriage/Family

No

Custody Case for Chester County Court, PA

2.5

Mediation

Marriage/Family

No

Mediation between a mother and her teenage daughter regarding increased disrespect towards the mother. I helped them agree to guidelines, boundaries, and consequences if the disrespect continues after the daughter is warned by her mother.

2.5

Mediation

Marriage/Family

No

Custody Case for Chester County Courts

Approximately 11

Mediation

Marriage/Family

No

Young adult estranged from her parents asked me to mediate discussion of the issues that have divided them. Did pre-mediation work with both sides, then met with the three of them together. Mother and daughter were significantly reconciled, but father still estranged.

38

Mediation

Church/School

Yes

Mediated congregational conflict related to pastoral change.

3

Coaching

Employment

No

Coached both parties in employer / employee dispute. Parties do not want mediation at this time and are talking to work out on their own.

1

Coaching

Church/School

No

JL - coaching friend to respond biblically to church discipline; ongoing

2.5

Mediation

Marriage/Family

No

Custody Case for Montgomery County Court, PA

2

Coaching

Marriage/Family

No

David, a Navigators minister, has been struggling in his relationship with his only son, a 17 year old teenage boy. I offered to coach him in this using Courageous Parenting resource and we met together for the first time on 1/16 after he completed the first chapter of homework. We will continue to meet, possibly with his wife next time, every other week. I recommended an additional resource from Parent Cue for him to order.

2.5

Mediation

Marriage/Family

No

Custody Case for Montgomery County Court, PA

10

Mediation

Marriage/Family

No

A couple for whom we did a mediation several years ago, returned to ask for some help to work through some very thorny issues in their marriage in a healthy way. I coached them over 5 sessions to help them work through those issues.

5 hours

Mediation

Marriage/Family

No

DE & ME - coaching and mediation with their new marriage and the struggles that have been going on as they continue to grow in their relationships

5.0

Coaching

Marriage/Family

No

Coaching wife after abandonment by husband. Assisted with confession/forgiveness even though husband refused to communicate except through lawyers. The case has just been completed, and an evaluation will be sent.

5.0 in 2023

Coaching

Marriage/Family

No

Coaching son regarding unresolved conflict and damaged relationship with abusive father.

17.3 in 2023

Mediation

Marriage/Family

No

Severe marital dysfunction for many years. Mediation is ongoing to identify and resolve multiple issues.

12.5

Coaching

Marriage/Family

No

Marriage coaching which is ongoing.

12

Coaching

Marriage/Family

Yes

A couple who with very difficult life circumstances. We meet with them monthly to enouragae and guide.

9

Coaching

Other

Yes

Young single woman with internal conflicts. One-day intensive provided with some ongoing coaching in the future.

19

Coaching

Other

No

Young single woman needing guidance through past emotional abuse and current family issues.

25

Coaching

Marriage/Family

No

This is a case of domestic abuse. I have been working steadily with this party and continue to do so.

6

Coaching

Marriage/Family

No

Older couple dealing with unresolved conflict from the past.

13

Coaching

Marriage/Family

No

Premarital coaching, then after married coaching which will continue due to issues they are facing.

12

Coaching

Other

No

Young single woman struggling with work and personal issues.

5

Coaching

Other

No

Single young woman with past drug addiction and current dysfunctional relationships with men.

19

Coaching

Marriage/Family

No

Emotional abuse situation in which I am serving the wife.

10

Coaching

Other

No

Currently working with a missionary couple on home assignment that is working through difficult situations on the field.

25

Mediation

Marriage/Family

No

Pornography and other issues in the marriage. Likely ongoing. Their church is financing their work with us.

13

Coaching

Marriage/Family

No

Couple struggling with his porn habit and physiological issues of the husband.

8

Coaching

Marriage/Family

No

MC Wife is divorcing her husband, who admits that he has been neglectful of his wife and his children, but who now wants to confess and be reconciled with his wife and children. We are working up a confession

22

Coaching

Marriage/Family

No

trying to help an abused woman to seek Christ for her and her daughter and navigate interactions with her husband whom she is mostly not living with.

80+ hours

Coaching

Church/School

No

This is not a single coaching case, but I will include here many ongoing informal coaching cases that I have among Hutterite people, where my husband and I have been working as missionaries for the last 15 years. I am in regular contact with Hutterite women, who often share their struggles with me. Their life is especially challenging because when they marry, they move to their husband’s community, where they have to adjust to a different way of life and a new set of rules. There is a strict hierarchy among the group, and tensions among the women arise frequently, since they have to work very closely together in the community kitchen and garden. Most of their relationship issues circle around being judged by others and being oppressed by individuals or by the group. There is no teaching on how to communicate openly and honestly with each other, so there is a lot of distrust and envy and gossip among them. This often leads to anger and the forming of cliques, which divides the group even further. I have been teaching conflict resolution in many colonies now, and slowly, people are catching on to the peacemaking principles (even the men!). Hutterites do not hear the gospel preached in church, but we see more and more people being transformed by God’s Word, and I feel that the Lord has given me the ministry of Biblical peacemaking to help the Hutterite people better understand and live out the Gospel.

6

Coaching

Other

Yes

Small women's study group were in conflict. I coached various members while I was conducting a peacemaker training for them. We had a resolution by the end of the training.

35

Coaching

Marriage/Family

No

This is an ongoing case where I have been coaching two brothers with the goal of mediating their offenses that developed during their childhood. Part of the problem is that the one brother feels that he was neglected by their mother, who favored the other brother over him. He is struggling with a lot of anger and bitterness towards his brother but is realizing now that he can’t have peace or move on with his life, unless he forgives his brother and also his mother, who is deceased. The other brother has acknowledged that his arrogant attitude towards his older brother has been part of the problem and has taken the first step and apologized to him for his behavior and hurtful words. I am hoping that there will be a mediation soon to address all the remaining issues.

75

Mediation

Marriage/Family

No

4 parties, mom/dad of son, a pastor, and wife. Broken relationships even though a close family. The parties developed a plan to relate to one another including seeing the grandkids.

2.5

Mediation

Marriage/Family

No

Custody Case for Montgomery County Court, PA

18

Arbitration

Marriage/Family

No

a test case

85

Mediation

Marriage/Family

No

The conflict started between a sister and brother-in-law, who had a falling out. Later, the whole family was affected by the conflict, mainly due to miscommunications and unfulfilled expectations. The first meeting involved the parents, their daughter, and son-in-law. They had open and honest conversations and all four parties reconciled with each other. The second meeting was only partially successful because the other daughter was not willing to reconcile with her brother-in-law. Therefore, the parties were only partially satisfied with the result.

25+

Arbitration

Other

No

BE Arbitration. Award expected February 2024 as this is an ongoing case.

30.5

Mediation

Business

Yes

This mediation was assigned to me by AofR as the parties requested me as conciliator. It was an employment dispute between the owner and two employees who left the company and were alleged to have taken customers and trade secrets with them. It was complicated by federal litigation with a discovery deadline and trial date within a month of my assignment. After 6 sessions of conflict coaching and an all day mediation the parties got close but were not able to reach an agreement. The litigation will proceed and they may return for further help.

108

Arbitration

Church/School

No

Actually conducted investigation - initially thought short investigation and any potential reconciliation. However, the investigation showed indications of patterned pastoral sexual and power abuse. Therefore a more extensive investigation with consultation regarding care and developing a peacemaking church.

30.5

Mediation

Business

Yes

AofR assigned me this complex mediation at the request of the parties who were in Federal litigation with a trial date within 30 days. The mediation took place on 1/2/24 and I was unable to mediate a settlement. The mediation took 8 hours and conflict coaching in December took the remainder of my time. The case was administered by AofR. It involved an employers claims against 2 employees who left his firm and he believed competed unlawfully against him.

20

Coaching

Marriage/Family

No

C had a breakdown in relationship with her grandmother and aunt following her grandfather's death. She has engaged with the coaching materials well and established reasonable relationships given the circumstances.

24

Coaching

Marriage/Family

No

S and J are trying to save their marriage after it was revealed that he had been unfaithful on numerous occasions. We are continuing to work with them as they address the issues.

7

Coaching

Marriage/Family

No

Helping L navigate difficult relationships with grandchildren, daughter and son in law (soon to be 'x')

12

Coaching

Other

No

S was struggling with judging family members and friends She worked through the coaching materials thoroughly. Her heart has been addressed and she feels she is free from bitterness. We are meeting on a bi-monthly basis for a check in call during 2024

15

Coaching

Marriage/Family

No

New believer A and her unbelieving husband D; she got involved in the Trucker Convoy; this created huge problems in their marriage. She has been drinking and using marijuana. She withdrew from the process "partially satisfied". He stopped answering our follow up calls.

18

Coaching

Marriage/Family

No

A is dealing with an abusive husband and now a baby has been introduced to the mix. She is struggling with anger and bitterness. Temporarily separated on two occasions

15

Coaching

Marriage/Family

No

O has been advocating for her brother (involved in a serious car crash). She is also trying to maintain relship with her mother and other family members

60

Coaching

Marriage/Family

No

L and M - addressing issues in marriage (his addictions and financial irresponsibility); they are now separated.

6

Coaching

Marriage/Family

No

Working with U as she confronts the CSA from her childhood

10

Coaching

Other

No

P is Hindu. I have been sharing the gospel with her through the coaching materials as it relates to her broken abusive marriage and cultural pressures being from India. We are continuing to meet monthly.

10

Coaching

Church/School

No

Helping Pastor J and T address the pain of betrayal from the church they served for two decades

30

Coaching

Marriage/Family

No

J and JC are associate pastors in a local church. He has been abusive. They both engaged in the conflict coaching to the full extent required. He ended up taking Chris Moles' Men of Peace Program to address his abusive behaviour and attitude. There was great success through this program and their marriage has been changed. I will continue to follow up with Julie on a bi-monthly basis to ensure things are good in their marriage.

8

Coaching

Marriage/Family

No

S is navigating the aftermath of her son's failed marriage and her husband's criminal charges for stalking. She has engaged well with the coaching materials and we are continuing to meet for follow up and check in.

40

Mediation

Marriage/Family

No

Pastor T and A engaged in the conflict coaching and this led to mediation in March 2023. The mediation was a success but Thomas was fired from his pastorate several months later. This caused a downward spiral on his part. He has continued to meet with my co-counsellor but has returned to old patterns. I'm continuing to meet with Alejandra for conflict coaching through these difficult times.

10

Coaching

Other

No

Helping W address broken relationships and failed marriage

10

Coaching

Marriage/Family

No

M was referred by the County Mental Health in 2022. We have spent the year working through challenges in her relationship with her senior citizen father. Things have gone well and she finds her anger has been substantially addressed.

15

Coaching

Marriage/Family

No

C has been struggling with bitterness toward her abusive sister. She has engaged with the coaching materials and has been able to establish a safe and reasonable relationship with her sister.

15

Coaching

Marriage/Family

No

I is still working through her difficult marriage to a porn addict

50

Mediation

Marriage/Family

No

C and A submitted to a mediation in 2023. While there were agreements reached, Aristide did not truly engage in the process. I continue to meet with Cadeau on a monthly basis to coach her through this difficult situation. Aristide is inconsistent in meeting with my co-counsellor Dave.

281+

Coaching

Marriage/Family

No

As a Marriage & Family Counselor my cases include individual Conflict Coaching, Marital mediations and Family oriented disputes. They often continue for the entire year. I did Marital Mediation Cases (152); Conflict Coaching cases (116); Marriage and Family Mediations (13)

20

Coaching

Other

No

A is a teenaged girl. She recently revealed she was sexually abused by her adoptive father and a court case will ensue. Her adoptive mother kicked her out of the home. She is navigating a great deal of anger and bitterness. She is doing well considering the circumstances.

15

Coaching

Marriage/Family

No

Helping P address his broken marriage and losses due to his abusiveness

12

Coaching

Marriage/Family

No

A and H's marriage was salvaged following infidelity and separation. A mediation in 2022 has been followed up with ongoing check in calls and marital restoration work.

12

Coaching

Marriage/Family

No

N and I meet on a monthly basis to work through her failed marriage and ongoing co-parenting of their 14 yr old daughter with her estranged husband.

15

Coaching

Marriage/Family

No

H is working through her marriage issues and difficulties parenting a severely disabled child. Also addressing problems with church ldrship

8

Coaching

Church/School

No

Helping L and M address their difficult marriage and former church position

444+129 = 573 hours minimum

Coaching

Marriage/Family

No

As a Marriage & Family Counselor, I handle conflict oriented situations every day, year round. This past year(2023) I did @ 62 cases (Marriage & Fam) and 43 Conflict Coaching situations.

10+

Coaching

Other

No

Conflict coaching of Ms CC and leader of not for profit organisation

7+

Coaching

Church/School

No

Individual conflict coaching of young female student leader in conflict with assistant pastor

30+

Mediation

Church/School

No

3 phase mediation between a couple and their pastor including individual conflict coaching

11+

Mediation

Church/School

No

2 phase mediation between two assistant pastors including individual conflict coaching

1.5

Coaching

Church/School

No

Conflict coaching of parishioner unhappy with her pastor

16

Mediation

Church/School

No

3 phase mediation between a senior and his assistant pastor including individual conflict coaching

10+

Coaching

Church/School

No

Conflict coaching of female doctor in conflict with her pastor

21+

Mediation

Church/School

No

2 phase mediation between autistic parents of autistic son in conflict with church leaders, including individual conflict coaching

1-2

Coaching

Church/School

No

Conflict coaching of assistant pastor in conflict with his previous senior pastor

8

Mediation

Marriage/Family

No

BJS Husband and wife, owners of a counseling firm, are in conflict. She feels "missed" and "not heard" by her husband. Both have a past involving severe addictions. He is currently an elder at a church. They are responding beautifully to our coaching. God used Psalm 32:5 (I will confess my sin against myself to the Lord) to galvanize him to make a beautiful confession to her. Excited to see how their relationship develops.