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Handling Conflict with Grace

Writer: Dwight SchettlerDwight Schettler

How do my sins affect others?

Conflict Resolution vs Reconciliation - Lesson 4 - Confess to the Other Person, Question 3, p. 57

James' story is one many of us can relate to—a conflict between parent and child that spirals out of control. When James arrived home late, his mother erupted in anger. She yelled, called him names, and grounded him by taking away his car privileges. In a burst of frustration, James retorted angrily, highlighting his mother's own lapses in punctuality, which had also impacted his life negatively. This heated exchange illustrates the pain and discord that can arise in family relationships when emotions run high and forgiveness is in short supply.


In such moments, scripture provides valuable guidance on how to navigate these turbulent waters. Galatians 6:1-2 encourages us, "Brothers, if anyone is caught in any transgression, you who are spiritual should restore him in a spirit of gentleness. Keep watch on yourself, lest you too be tempted. Bear one another's burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ." This passage reminds James' mother to approach her son's mistake with a spirit of gentleness and restoration rather than anger and punishment. It's a call to support and uplift each other, even in moments of failure.


Ephesians 6:4 offers further insight: "Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord." Though this verse specifically mentions fathers, its wisdom applies to all parents. James' mother must consider how her reaction might provoke her son's anger rather than guide him towards understanding and growth. Discipline should be rooted in love and instruction, not in harsh words and punitive measures.


James 3:1 also provides a sobering reminder: "Not many of you should become teachers, my brothers, for you know that we who teach will be judged with greater strictness." As a parent, James' mother holds a position of authority and influence. Her actions and words teach her child how to respond to conflict and failure. She must strive to model patience, humility, and forgiveness, demonstrating the values she wishes to instill in her son.


Ultimately, reconciliation and peace are possible through the gospel promise found in Romans 5:10-11: "For if while we were enemies we were reconciled to God by the death of his Son, much more, now that we are reconciled, shall we be saved by his life. More than that, we also rejoice in God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have now received reconciliation." This passage reassures us that despite our failures and conflicts, we can find reconciliation through Christ. It is a call to seek forgiveness, extend grace, and embrace the peace that comes from being reconciled with God and one another.

 

 

This blog series is adapted from Conflict Resolution vs Reconciliation. You can experience this teaching in several ways:

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