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Justifying Ourselves Rather than Confessing Our Sin

Writer: Dwight SchettlerDwight Schettler

How do my sins affect others?

Conflict Resolution vs Reconciliation - Lesson 4 - Confess to the Other Person, Question 4, p. 57

For context you may wish to review our two previous blog posts.


In the story where James arrives late, we observe an interaction between him and his mother, which reveals how James attempts to justify his actions rather than confessing his wrongdoing. When confronted by his mother, who is evidently frustrated and angry, James does not respond with humility or contrition. Instead, he deflects the blame back onto his mother, highlighting her own shortcomings and previous failures.


When accused of his tardiness, James brings up instances where his mother was late to pick him up after school and basketball games. He argues that her delays had impacted his academic performance, causing his grades to suffer. By doing so, James attempts to shift the focus from his fault to his mother's perceived inadequacies. He even goes so far as to call her a bad name and express his resentment, saying, “Now you know what it feels like!”


James’s reaction is a classic example of self-justification. Instead of acknowledging his mistake and taking responsibility, he seeks to make his mother feel guilty and portrays himself as a victim of her actions. This defensive stance is a common human response when faced with accusations, but it falls short of genuine repentance and reconciliation.


The Bible, however, calls us to a higher standard. In 1 John 1:8-9 (ESV), we are reminded, "If we say we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us. If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness." This gospel promise encourages us to confess our sins rather than justify them, trusting in God's faithful forgiveness and cleansing.


Let us learn from this story that true resolution and peace come not from deflecting blame, but from admitting our faults and seeking forgiveness.

 

 

This blog series is adapted from Conflict Resolution vs Reconciliation. You can experience this teaching in several ways:

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