What if the other person refuses to repent?
Conflict Resolution vs Reconciliation - Lesson 6, Restore with Gentleness, Questions 26-27, p. 91
In his commentary on Matthew 18, Jeffrey Gibbs notes, “Jesus is teaching about an extreme form of caring, of compassion, of concern for a fellow disciple in a situation of terrible need.” This chapter is a profound exploration of humility, care, and forgiveness.
Verses 1-6: The Greatest in the Kingdom of Heaven
In Matthew 18:1-6, Jesus identifies the greatest in the kingdom of heaven as the one who humbles themselves like a child. "Whoever humbles himself like this child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven" (Matthew 18:4). Jesus emphasizes childlike humility and receptiveness as the essence of greatness in God's kingdom.
Verses 10-14: The One in Need of Care
Verses 10-14 of Matthew 18 underline the significance of caring for those who are lost and straying. Jesus speaks of a shepherd who leaves ninety-nine sheep to search for one that has wandered off. "So it is not the will of my Father who is in heaven that one of these little ones should perish" (Matthew 18:14). Here, Jesus stresses the importance of seeking and caring for each individual who is in need.
Verses 15-17: The One in Need of Special Concern
In Matthew 18:15-17, Jesus discusses the necessity of addressing sin within the community. He delineates a process for dealing with a brother who sins: first, approaching them privately (see: How Does Jesus Sacrifice Strengthen Believers to Move Toward One Another in Conflict?), then with one or two others (see: Navigating the Temptation to Force Repentance), and finally before the church. "If he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church. And if he refuses to listen even to the church, let him be to you as a Gentile and a tax collector" (Matthew 18:17). The focus here is on correction and reconciliation.
Verses 21-22: Compassion and Forgiveness
Verses 21-22 speak to the boundless nature of forgiveness. Peter asks Jesus how many times he should forgive a brother who sins against him, suggesting seven times. Jesus responds, "I do not say to you seven times, but seventy-seven times" (Matthew 18:22). This indicates that forgiveness should be limitless and continual. See: The Disciples' Struggle With Forgiveness.
Verse 35: The Warning for Those Who Refuse to Forgive
Matthew 18 concludes with a parable about forgiveness, ending with a stern warning: "So also my heavenly Father will do to every one of you, if you do not forgive your brother from your heart" (Matthew 18:35). This underscores the necessity of forgiving others, reflecting the forgiveness we receive from God. See: Forgive Us Our Debts As We Forgive.
In summarizing, Matthew 18 teaches profound lessons about humility, care, concern, and limitless forgiveness, urging believers to embody these virtues in their daily lives.
This blog series is adapted from Conflict Resolution vs Reconciliation. You can experience this teaching in several ways:
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