Forgive as God Forgave You

1. How has your opponent sinned against you?

1. What would happen if everyone did as he or she pleased without any restraint?

1. By nature, I am:

• A _______________creature. (Psalm 51:5, Romans 3:23)

1. Review the narrative in Genesis 3.

• Identify some of the suffering that Adam and Eve experienced when they first sinned.

1. What are some of the meanings of the phrase “I’m sorry?”

1. Since God’s Law tells us what He wants us to do and not to do, sin is breaking God’s Law. Working with this definition of sin, would you say that being angry is sinful? Why or why not?

1. What is appropriate about each person’s original desires?

After reading pages 11-53, discuss together these questions from the end of Chapter 2:

1. What has been your average worship attendance for the last ten years? What are the trends you have observed in attendance?

1. Identify what is biblically false or weak in the following:

- Excusing: Phrases such as That’s okay, No problem, or Don’t worry about it.

• Isaiah 59:2

• Romans 6:23a

1. Fill in the blanks for this common phrase. What are your thoughts on this statement?

“Sticks and ________ may break your ________ but _________will never _________ you.”

1. Read the following selections:

Philippians 2:3-4, Matthew 22:37-39, 1 Corinthians 13:4-8, Matthew 5:43-48, 1 Peter 4:8-9, 1 John 3:16, Proverbs 10:12, Galatians 5:14

• What do these Bible passages say about our attitude and actions when we love others?

1. Recall the Commandment, “You shall not murder” (Exodus 20:13).

What does this Commandment have to do with bitterness? Respond to the deeper meaning to “murder” as described in the following verses: 

• Matthew 5:21-22

• 1 John 3:15

2. How is each one sinning to get what he or she wants?

2. Fill in the blank for this common phrase. What are your thoughts on this statement?

“Talk is _________.”

2. How do you personally respond to others when you are angry?

2. Which of these sins has your opponent confessed?

2. Consider Luther’s explanation of this Commandment:

We should fear and love God, and so we should not endanger our neighbor’s life, nor cause him any harm, but help and befriend him in every necessity of life.

In this Commandment our Lord forbids us to keep _____________ and _____________ in our hearts against our neighbor.

2. An ______________ of God. (Romans 5:10)

2. Read the following selections:

Philippians 2:3-4, Matthew 22:37-39, 1 Corinthians 13:4-8, Matthew 5:43-48, 1 Peter 4:8-9, 1 John 3:16, Proverbs 10:12, Galatians 5:14

• Do you ever find yourself unable or unwilling to love others the way the Bible describes it? When is that most difficult?

2. What qualifiers do people use to minimize their sin when saying they are sorry?

2. In the home -  Ephesians 6:1-3. God commands children to obey their parents in the Lord. We are to honor our _____________ and ______________.

2. Review the narrative in Genesis 3. 

• Adam and Eve’s sin affected others. What are some of the consequences of that first conflict that we suffer today?

2. What are your congregation’s total number of baptized and communicant members? Any trends that you have observed in membership changes for the last ten years?

2. Punishing: You deserve my judgment, condemnation, and punishment.

• Luke 6:37

• Romans 12:14, 17-21

3. Do you hold it in or let it out?

3. Earning: I won’t forgive you until you deserve it or earn it.

• Romans 6:23b

• Ephesians 2:8-9

3. Read Leviticus 19:17-18.

• What does God say our attitude toward others should be in these verses?

3. Which of the unconfessed sins can you overlook and forgive at this time? (Those that cannot be overlooked will have to be dealt with by applying the principles taught in chapters 7-9)

3. Instead of murdering others in our hearts, our Lord calls us to a different action. What alternatives does He teach us in the following verses?

• Ephesians 4:32

• Matthew 5:5, 7, 9

3. What is the total number of individual adults that regularly attend Bible study during the week? (This may be different than the total attendance of Bible studies throughout the week, since some individuals may attend more than one Bible study, and others may not attend every week but are regularly involved.) Have there been any trends in the attendance over the last few years? 

     a. What percentage of the average worship attendance attends Bible study? 

     b. How does your percentage compare to the healthy churches surveyed in Chapter 2 of Built on the Rock: The Healthy Congregation?

3. In the home - Ephesians 6:4. God instructs parents to exercise their authority in such a way as to not ______________ their children to anger, but rather bring them up in the ________________ and the instruction of the Lord.

3. Read 2 Corinthians 7:10. The apostle Paul contrasts godly grief or sorrow with worldly grief or sorrow.

How would you distinguish godly sorrow from worldly sorrow?

3. In the three examples above, who is the main focus of each person’s passion?

3. Fill in the blank for this common phrase. What are your thoughts on this statement?

“Why can’t I say it, after all it’s the ___________.”

3. Review the narrative in Genesis 3. 

• What hope was given to Adam and Eve in spite of their disobedience?

3. One who daily _________________ with my sinful nature. (Romans 7:14-25)

4. How many lay leaders do you have? How many lay leaders are involved in Bible study? 

      a. What percentage of your leaders are in Bible study? 

      b. How does your percentage compare to the healthy congregations surveyed in Chapter 2?

4. In the home -  Ephesians 5:21-33. Husbands and wives both have responsibilities toward each other. In verse 21, Christians are called to __________________ to one another out of reverence for Christ. Husbands are called to ____________ their wives as Christ loved the church (even to the point of dying for the church). Wives are called to _____________to their husbands as the church submits to Christ.

4. Genesis 4:8-15 (conflicts between Cain and God, and Cain and Abel)

• When Abel was violently murdered by his brother, how must Adam and Eve have suffered?

• What underlying factors gave rise to the conflict and misery?

• How did Cain suffer?

• What comfort did God provide Cain in his suffering?

4. Make the first decision of forgiveness: Admit that vou cannot forgive on Your own, and ask God to change your heart.

4. Read 2 Corinthians 7:10. The apostle Paul contrasts godly grief or sorrow with worldly grief or sorrow.

What are some of the ways that an “apology” can fail to express godly sorrow?

4. What does the Bible teach about grumbling and complaining?

• Philippians 2:14-15

• Philippians 4:8

• 1 Peter 2:11-12

4. Read the following: Proverbs 14:17 Proverbs 15:1 Proverbs 29:22

• Can you think of a time when these words of Scripture have proven to be true in your own life? What were the results?

4. Read Leviticus 19:17-18.

• What does the last part of verse 18 mean when you are in conflict with someone?

4. Recalling: I will never let you forget what you did!

• Jeremiah 31:34

• 2 Corinthians 5:16-17, 21

4. Consider Luther’s explanation of this Commandment:

We should fear and love God, and so we should not endanger our neighbor’s life, nor cause him any harm, but help and befriend him in every necessity of life.

In this Commandment our Lord requires us to be _______________ and kind and ________________ towards our neighbor.

4. Read 2 Corinthians 5:14-15. How does the focus on serving ourselves first contrast with what God expects?

4. Unclean and worthless, a _______________who has nothing to offer God.

• Isaiah 64:6

• Romans 3:12

• 1 Timothy 6:7

5. Review the narrative of Cain and Abel’s relationship in Genesis 4:3-8.

• Identify when Cain’s murder of his brother began.

5. Read the following: Ephesians 4:25-27 James 1:19-20

• What does the Apostle Paul remind us of in Ephesians 4:25?

5. “You shall not bear false witness against your neighbor” (Exodus 20:16).

What is forbidden in this Commandment?

· Telling _____________________________ about our neighbor: (Proverbs 12:17-18, Proverbs 19:5, Ephesians 4:25)

5. Condemned to be _________________ from God eternally.

• Isaiah 59:2

• Romans 6:23a

5.  Read 2 Corinthians 7:10. The apostle Paul contrasts godly grief or sorrow with worldly grief or sorrow.

What other words or phrases are used to minimize sin rather than take full responsibility for it?

5. How does the focus on serving ourselves first relate to idolatry?

5. In the workplace - Ephesians 6:5-9. Servants are called to _____________their earthly masters as they would Christ himself. Masters are required to exercise their ___________________ with care since they too are subject to their ________________ in heaven.

5. List your Bible study opportunities including descriptions of what is done during your Bible studies. Identify whether you could offer more studies or variety in studies.

5. Note how each of the following passages applies to this situation.

• Psalm 103:12

• Psalm 130:3

• 1 Corinthians 13:5

• Ephesians 4:32 

• Colossians 3:13

5. Matthew 14:1-11 (the execution of John the Baptist)

• What conflict led Herod to execute John?

• Besides John, who else suffered as a result of his execution?

5. Read John 13:1-20.

• How can you “wash the feet” of others in difficult situations?

5. My sins are not excused; God’s justice required _______________.

• Hebrews 9:22

• 1 John 1:7

6. Paul tells us to imitate God in Ephesians 5:1-2.

• How can we imitate God and “wash the feet” of others when they seem to be unreasonable?

6. Luke 13:1-5 (reflection of those executed by Pilate and killed by a falling tower)

• What do some people believe about those who suffer such tragedies?

• What was Jesus’ response to this thinking?

6. My sins needed to be punished: Christ ___________ the full price for my sins.

• Isaiah 53:5-6

• John 19:30

6. In the church - 1 Thessalonians 5:12-13; Hebrews 13:17. We are called to esteem very highly in love and obey those who have authority over us in the Lord (pastors, elders, teachers, etc.), for they are keeping watch over our souls, as those who will have to give an _________________.

6. In Christ, I am:

• No longer separated from God, I have been _______________________ by His blood. (Ephesians 2:12-13, Romans 8:35-39)

6. How might our passions drive us to sin against this commandment? We demonstrate that we have false gods in our hearts when instead of fearing, loving, and trusting God above all things:

• We __________________ people or things more than God (called idolatrous fears).

• We __________________ the created more than the Creator (called cravings).

• We __________________ someone or something more than God (called misplaced trust).

Review the narrative of Cain and Abel’s relationship in Genesis 4:3-8.

• How can nursing our own grudges lead to murdering people in our hearts?

6. Go as a ________________.

• Matthew 5:23-24; 7:3-5

• Luke 15:19

• Luke 18:13-14

6. According to Ephesians 4:26, how long are we to hold on to our anger?

6. Every church encounters conflicts, whether between key leaders or among the membership. Describe a situation involving a serious conflict. How did your church leaders and members respond to the situation?

6. “You shall not bear false witness against your neighbor” (Exodus 20:16).

What is forbidden in this Commandment? 

Revealing ___________________ about our neighbor: (Proverbs 11:11-13, Proverbs 20:19)

6. Write the four promises you will make to your opponent to indicate your forgiveness. (PM @ 207-210)

"By God's grace ...

• I will not___________________ on this incident.

• I will not___________________ this incident up and use it against you.

• I will not___________________ to others about this incident.

• I will not___________________ this incident stand between us or hinder our relationship."

7. The following examples include reasonable apprehensions that can evolve into idolatrous fears. How might someone sin in order to protect himself against these fears? (Think of desperate actions to avoid losing something precious.)

• Worry over losing a job

• Fear of losing an inheritance

• Anxiety over being killed in a terrorist attack

List other fears that might become idolatrous.

7. My forgiveness is _______ _________________ upon my works. I cannot do anything to earn or deserve God’s forgiveness – it’s a free gift.

• Romans 6:23b

• Ephesians 2:8-10

7. Acts 16:16-24 (Paul and Silas imprisoned)

• Who benefited from the miracle in this report?

• What conflict resulted from the ministry of Paul and Silas?

• How did Paul and Silas suffer because of their good deeds?

7. __________ your sin.

• Numbers 5:5-7

• Psalm 32:3-5

• Psalm 51:3-4

7. Read Hebrews 12:15.

What is the significance of the words “root of bitterness?” (Where do roots grow?)

7. A ____________ creature through Him. (2 Corinthians 5:16-17)

7. “You shall not bear false witness against your neighbor” (Exodus 20:16).

What is forbidden in this Commandment?

· Slandering or ________________ another’s reputation:  (Matthew 18:15, Luke 6:37, James 3:1-12; 4:11)

7. In the church - 1 Peter 5:1-3. Those who serve as leaders in the church have responsibility to serve not for shameful gain, but with eagerness; not __________________over those in their charge, but serving as examples. (Note also Paul’s instruction to Timothy in 1 Timothy 4:12-16.)

7. Reflecting on Chapters 1 and 2 of Built on the Rock, list some of the obvious indicators of spiritual wellness in your church.

7. What is the danger of holding on to anger that is described in the above verses?

7. Circle the promise that will be the hardest for you to keep. Why is it the hardest?

7. Read Romans 12:14.

• What does this verse mean when there is a dispute in your family, work situation, neighborhood, or church?

8. In the community - Romans 13:1-7. In writing to the church in Rome, which had a government that openly persecuted Christians, why does Paul direct the members to be subject to the governing authorities? What are the responsibilities of government officials?

8. If you are having a hard time forgiving your opponent, read Matthew 18:21-35. What is the point of this passage?

8. Taking the _____________ of another person.  (Genesis 9:6, Matthew 26:52, Proverbs 6:16-17)

8. Read Hebrews 12:15.

What is the warning given in this verse?

8. My past sins will not be _________________ ______ and used against me.

• Jeremiah 31:34

• Psalm 103:12

8. Identify your sins according to ___________ ___________.

Indicate which Commandments or portions of Scripture you have violated. You may identify specific thoughts, words, or actions. Sins may include things you have not done (sins of omission). You may also state that your sins against the other person were also sins against God.

• Sinful thoughts – Luke 6:45

• Sinful words – Ephesians 4:29

• Sinful actions – Galatians 5:19-21

• Sins of omission – such as failing to love as Christ commands – 1 Corinthians 13:4-7

8. List the less obvious indicators of spiritual weakness in your church.

8. Baptized into Christ, adopted into God’s family, changed from an enemy to an ___________. (Galatians 3:26-4:7)

8. Read Proverbs 29:25, in which a common idolatrous fear is identified. What two fears are contrasted?

8. Suffering can be caused by factors _______________ to us or our ______________.

• Give an example. 

8. Consider 1 John 4:7-21 as you answer the following:

• According to verse 7, love comes from ______________.

8. What is required in this commandment?

· _____________________ others when they are defamed: (Proverbs 31:8-9, Ephesians 4:29) 

9. Recall how Joseph forgave his brothers in Genesis 50:15-21.

• If Joseph were to withhold forgiveness, what would be the implication according to verse 19?

9. Consider 1 John 4:7-21 as you answer the following:

• In verse 11, the consequence of God loving us is we ought to ____________ __________ __________________.

9. A beloved ________________ of God, precious in His eyes. (John 1:12-13, 1 John 3:1)

9. Identify how the following phrases reflect fear of man. Think of situations that illustrate these idols. How do these fears lead to other sins?

• Peer _________________

• Co-__________________

• People- _______________

9. Express _______________ ________ ______________ your sin has caused.

“My sin hurt you by…” or “I am sorry for how my actions hurt you when…”

• Luke 15:21

9. What is required in this commandment?

· __________________________ of others, putting the best construction on things: (Ephesians 4:29, Colossians 3:12-14, 1 Corinthians 13:4-7)

9. Hurting or ________________ our neighbor physically, that is to do or ______________ anything which may _____________, shorten, or make his or her life _______________________. (Romans 12:19)

9. What are you learning about the health of your congregation?

9. Suffering can be a consequence of our own _____________________.

• Give an example. 

9. In the community - 1 Timothy 2:1-3. What else are we called to do for our leaders? Why?

9. Read Acts 8:9-13 and 18-24.

What did the “gall of bitterness” produce in Simon’s life? (v. 18-23)

9. If you continue to struggle with unforgiveness, identify the roadblock by reading pages 213-218 in The Peacemaker.

1. Consider your opponent. How have your thoughts led to think unkind things about him/her? Has this helped or hurt your ability to reconcile?

Live at Peace

1. Have you made peace with God by accepting Jesus Christ as your Savior, Lord, and King? (PM @ 43-45; see John 3:16; Acts 16:31) If not, you can do so right now by sincerely praying this prayer:

Jesus, I know that I am a sinner, and I realize that my good deeds could never make up for my wrongs. I need your forgiveness. I believe that you died for my sins, and I want to turn away from them. I trust you now to be my Savior, and with your help I will follow you as my Lord and King, in the fellowship of your church.

If you have prayed this prayer, it is essential that you find fellowship with other Christians in a church where the Bible is faithfully taught and applied. This fellowship will help you to learn more about God and be strengthened in your faith.

1. According to Romans 13:1-2, how are we to respond to authorities? How might this impact the conflict you find yourself in today?

1. What is weighing you down today that you could confess to the Lord?

1. In what ways has your current conflict caused you to feel that your life is missing something important? What good things have you lost or might you lose because of this conflict?

1. Consider a circumstance or relationship in which you find yourself feeling angry. To what extent could your anger help you to understand what you fear?

1. What words would those who know you use to describe you?

1. In your specific conflict, how have you sought godly justice? How have you demonstrated godly mercy?

Read pages 225-246 (Part 4 and Chapter 13).

1. What are the major competing factors to Bible study among your members? In what ways can you overcome them? 

    a. If you don’t know what they are, how can you learn what is competing for your members’ time and commitment to Bible study (e.g., incorporating member visits or surveys)? 

    b. How can you intentionally overcome people’s obstacles to spending time in the Word? 

    c. What opportunities can you provide to address scheduling conflicts of congregants? 

    d. How are people currently invited to attend Bible studies in your church? How could you improve the ways you personally invite people to participate?

1. Grieving people often raise the kind of “timing” issue that Martha had. “Why did they have to die now? They could have lived 20, 30, 40 years longer.” Which of God’s promises might you cling to or share that still give hope when we don’t have all the answers?

1. According to 1 Peter 2:24, what does Christ’s forgiveness empower us to do?

1. What has your opponent done or said that keeps getting your attention?

1. As you consider challenges before you, what causes you the most worry?

1. Consider times when you or a loved one suffered for doing right. What were your most immediate and natural reactions towards those injustices?

1. What causes you the most worry?

1. What are your greatest weaknesses when dealing with stress?

Trust in the Lord and Do Good

1. Have you been looking at this dispute as something that happened by chance, as something done to you by someone else, or as something that God allowed in your life for a specific purpose? (PM @ 59-65; see Rom. 8:28-29; Ps. 32:10)

This video is a dramatization of what may have happened in David's kingdom in the wake of the narrative we read in 2 Samuel 11. This is not a biblical account in that these people are not from Scripture, but what they discuss  reflects the events in 2 Samuel 11. While King David's actions are clearly sinful, for this assignment focus on the discussion of Hanna, Mara and Reuban.

1. The facts at the center of this discussion accurately depict the real events. However, is this conversation godly? Why or why not? Reflect on on Ephesians 4:29 as you answer.

1. List situations when waiting in hope is most difficult for you.

1. Consider a current or recent stormy trial in your life. What are (were) your greatest fears?

Take One or Two Others Along

1. Are the personal or material issues in this conflict too serious to overlook or walk away from? Why? (Prov. 19:11)

1. Considering a current conflict, identify your primary focus.

1. According to Colossians 3:7-8, what are we to do with our anger? How might this impact the conflict you find yourself in today?

1. In your current struggles, what is keeping you from putting your hope and trust in Christ for peace and joy?

1. Regarding your conflict, which fears hold you captive?

After reading Chapter 14 (pages 250-262), answer the following questions.

1. How often are your church’s members visited by anyone from the congregation?

1.  What makes rejoicing easy for you to do? 

       a. Is your rejoicing dependent upon circumstances? 

       b. Your actions? 

       c. Your outcomes? 

       d. God’s Plan?

1. Describe a difficult, emotional conflict in your life. What expectations or hopes about the conflict did you have that went unfulfilled?

1. In what ways are you suffering unjustly?

1. Even the apostle Paul struggled with his sinful nature. What thoughts, words, or actions have you recently done or not done that violate God’s commands? (If you have trouble thinking of some, look at Matthew 5:43-48.)

1. Have you ever effectively shut down a conversation with a t-shirt, tweet, poster, or meme? What fruit have such communications bore?

1. What has your opponent kept doing that keeps your attention off your own behaviors and attitudes?

 1. After you have considered your own contribution to this conflict (e.g., get the log out of your own eye; see Devotion for Day 15), identify how the other person contributed to this conflict?

Open the Proclaiming God's Forgiveness form to the inside-middle panel and review the The Development of an Idol. Then answers these questions.

1. What do you find yourself thinking about much of the time?

Open the Proclaiming God's Forgiveness form to the inside-middle panel and review the The Development of an Idol. Then answers these questions.

1. What frustrates you most in the dispute you have with the other person?

1. Read Isaiah 43:1. What comfort do you find in knowing that God not only created you, but He also redeemed you and called you by name?

1. How would you answer someone who asks what Jesus has done for you?

1. What keeps you from considering the interests of others?

1. Think of a time when you struggled making a difficult decision, but you were determined to do it without anyone else’s help. How might your struggle have gone differently if you had asked for God’s help first?

1. Identify at least five specific ways in which you have experienced the steadfast love of the Lord and His mercies for you. (Of course, you can list more!)

1. What hope do you possess in knowing your sins are forgiven you?

1. Consider a specific conflict that resulted in your suffering. In what ways have you struggled to rejoice in your suffering?

AN EXERCISE IN SELF-EXAMINATION 

Spiritual heart disease affects more than all “those other people.” As creatures living with sinful natures, we are all tempted by the idols in our hearts. This exercise in self-examination can help you identify one or more of your idols. As you examine your own heart condition, you are being prepared through repentance for the healing power found in the cross of Christ. Think of a specific conflict where you acted inappropriately. You may have felt these emotions: 

• Anger 

• Bitterness 

• Pride 

• Fear 

• Jealousy 

• Defensiveness 

• Judgmentalness 

With that situation in mind, reflect on the following questions to examine your heart.

After reading Chapter 4 (pages 74-88), answer these questions from the end of Chapter 4 for yourself.

1. To recognize idols related to fears, ask yourself these questions: 

     a. What did you want to preserve or avoid at almost any cost? 

     b. In this situation, what or whom did you fear most of all?

Is This Really Worth Fighting Over?

1. Describe the material issues in this conflict.

1. When Christians fight, at least ten others are watching. Identify at least seven individuals or groups of people that are aware of your conflict. Be sure to remember your own family.

1. In Psalm 46:10, God assures us, “Be still, and know that I am God.” Identify those situations that trouble you where you need to apply these words today.

1. According to Ephesians 4:21-32, what are we to do with our bitterness? How might this impact the conflict you find yourself in today?

1. Identify what concerns you most about your current unresolved conflict.

1. Who are the princes of this world that tempt you to fear, trust, or love them above the Lord?

1. How does God look at you when He declares you forgiven? (See Romans 8:1.) What happens to your sins?

1. According to 1 John 3:1, whose are you? To whom does your opponent belong? How might remembering this impact the conflict you find yourself in today?

1. According to Matthew 5:43-44 & 46, how are we to treat our opponents? How might this impact the conflict you find yourself in today?

1. Identify three to five sins which have become your “pet sins.” These are the sins we know but don’t trouble us as they should.

1.  How has and does God demonstrate his love for you?

1. What would observers conclude when you are in conflict with unbelievers? What would lead them to see a peacemaker (Matthew 5:9) and give glory to God (Matthew 5:16)?

1. According to 1 John 1:8-9: 

a. What is said of those who claim to have done nothing wrong? 

b. What is God’s promise when we confess our sins?

Conflict Starts in the Heart

1. What am I preoccupied with?How would I fill in this blank? "If only________, then I would be happy, fulfilled, and secure with regard to this situation."

• What do I want to preserve or avoid at any cost?

• What do I fear may happen in this situation?

• When a certain desire is not met, do I feel frustration, anxiety, resentment, bitterness, anger, or depression?

• Is there something I desire so much that I am willing to disappoint or hurt others in order to have it?

1. Whom do you know needs encouragement and hope that God’s peace is for them?

Open the Proclaiming God's Forgiveness form to the inside-middle panel and review the The Development of an Idol. Then answers these questions.

1. What preoccupies your thoughts? (What is the 1st thing on your mind in the morning or the last thing at night?)

After reading PART 2 and Chapter 5 (pages 93-105), complete the following personal exercise and answer the following questions.

PERSONAL EXERCISE: PRACTICING A HEALTHY LIFESTYLE 

As much as we confess our faith in Christ and God’s plan of salvation, we frequently fail to live out that faith in daily practice with one another. To encourage you to practice this healthy lifestyle, I am providing you with an opportunity for personal application. In the previous chapter, you had opportunity to examine your heart, identifying some of your idols. In this chapter, I encourage you to seek out someone to proclaim God’s forgiveness to you.

1. Find someone who will confidentially hear your confession to God and then proclaim God’s forgiveness to you. You may go to your pastor, or you may select another Christian who is mature in the faith. You may choose to use the self-examination questions from the end of the previous chapter to prepare you.

Read Chapter 7 (pages 119-134).

1. Think of any leader you’ve known (in or outside of church) who demonstrated arrogance and generally avoided admitting any wrong-doing. Without naming the person, answer the following: 

    a. How did that person communicate he or she was a strong leader? 

    b. How did those under this person’s leadership view him or her? 

    c. How approachable was this person? 

    d. How did that person’s leadership affect the culture of the organization?

Open the Proclaiming God's Forgiveness form to the inside-middle panel and review the The Development of an Idol. Then answers these questions.

1. What physical pleasure did you find yourself thinking about much of the time?

After reading Chapter 3 (pages 56-71), discuss together the questions from the end of Chapter 3:

1. Although the following characteristics do not in themselves define whether a congregation is healthy, they may prove beneficial. Which ones describe your congregation? 

      a. We have developed and communicated a clearly defined mission. 

      b. We maintain a well-organized structure as documented in the constitution and bylaws, policies, and job descriptions. 

      c. We benefit from bold, visionary leadership. 

      d. We are experiencing numerical growth (e.g., in membership, attendance, or offerings). 

      e. We offer inspiring worship services.

1. When God calls you a “New Creation,” what keeps you from believing that you are?

After reading Chapter 8 (pages 137-154), answer the following questions.

1. How well do the members of your church confess their faith by the way in which they take responsibility for their own contributions to conflict?

1. Consider a current or recent conflict. In what ways have you been dismissive, belittling, or arrogant in reference to your opponent?

1. Considering a current or recent conflict, what underlying desires were driving you to take your position and respond to the conflict in the ways that you did?

1. How have Christ’s wounds affected how God sees you in this conflict? Your opponent?

1. Think back on how your conflict began. From your perspective, what were your best intentions?

1. What worries you the most when you awake in the morning and before you go to sleep at night?

1. Does Jesus’ command to “get the log out of your eye” apply to believers, non-believers, or to all people? Why is it important to confess your sins to non-believers?

1. In Psalm 103:3, what is the first benefit for which we praise God?

1. Which hymns and praise songs have helped you grow in the fear of the Lord because of their emphasis on the greatness of God and the holiness of God?

1. With Christ’s prayer of forgiveness . . . 

a. How does God see you? 

b. How does God see your opponent?

1. Review Romans 5:8. When did Jesus die for you?

Confession Brings Freedom

1. Read Psalm 139:23-24, then ask God to help you see if you have sinned in any of the following ways in this situation. If so, note how.

• Allowed a desire to turn into an idol

• Used my tongue as a weapon (careless words, gossip, falsehood)

• Tried to control others

• Failed to keep my word or commitments

• Failed to respect authority, or failed use my authority graciously

• Was defensive or resisted correction

• Failed to treat others as I would like to be treated

1. Carefully think about your thoughts, words, and actions in this conflict. What or whom have you been trusting to respond to this conflict?

1. What are the material issues you want addressed in this conflict?

1. As you think about your recent or current conflict, read again Psalm 103:1-5. What are some of God’s benefits for you in this situation?

1. Consider a current or recent conflict. How have your expectations of the other person magnified your demands on him/her and your disappointment in his/her failure to meet your desires?

1. How does this affect your view of the Lord Jesus and your ability to trust Him in the most difficult circumstances? This is the breakout room question posed around timestamp (26:15).

Overcome Evil with Good

1. Which worldly weapons have you been using, or are you tempted to use, in this situation?

1. What godly desires have you turned into demands?

1. How can you demonstrate your trust in God while you address your conflict with your opponent?

1. How have the rich blessings that you and your opponent received from God led to your conflict in this matter?

1. What motivated God to show mercy on your soul?

1. According to Proverbs 29:25, what are the two types of fear contrasted? How might these fears impact the conflict you find yourself in today?

1. Which experience from your past keeps robbing you of Christ’s forgiveness?

1. According to Hebrews 4:15-16, what is God’s promise to those who suffer? How might this impact the conflict you find yourself in today?

This video is a dramatization of what may have happened in David's kingdom in the wake of the narrative we read in 2 Samuel 11. This is not a biblical account in that these people are not from Scripture, but what the characters gossip about reflects the events in 2 Samuel 11. For this assignment, focus on King David's actions.

1. What actions did David take to conceal his sins?

After reading Chapter 6 (pages 108-117), answer these questions from the end of Chapter 6:

1. What percentage of your congregation’s members do you think recognize that as Christ’s followers they are in constant spiritual battle?